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Post by olamilove on Jan 8, 2007 6:48:09 GMT -5
Good day and happy new year to all of you. Permitt me to share my situation with you.I am almost forty years,with no particular lady to get married to. I have dated on trust,but was severly dealt with. I have dated on compassion,but was turned down. I have dated on religious belief,but was almost insane when she called it quit. I am trying another date,but the ladies always have the feeling that,I must have been the reason behind my ill luck.Please take your time to respond to this true situation of mine.
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Post by darock on Jan 8, 2007 9:25:57 GMT -5
Permitt me to share my situation with you.I am almost forty years,with no particular lady to get married to. I can relate. I understand. I have trusted and believed in someone, and that cost me dearly. A lesson we learn when we go out of our way to be unequally yoked. We do this when we follow our hearts, and not our heads, or the Word. You certainly were a part of the reason. As upset as you can be with whoever you may have been with, and the ladies that you've dated, and as many issues as you may have had with any of them, remember, YOU chose them. We have to re-examine what it is that draws us to the people we're drawn to, especially when we always end up with the same bad results. An indication of a flaw in our own judgement. You too, bruh. And I hope that in 2007, we BOTH make better choices.
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Post by pelicanguy on Jan 8, 2007 14:05:22 GMT -5
Da Rock is correct. Woman will always assume that you had something to do with those relationships not working.
Even though it appears you're not at fault for the relationships not working out, you were attracted to those women and maybe you got caught up a bit before really knowing those women.
Hopefully you took the time to look back at not only those relationships and why they didn't work out, but also take a look at you and find out why you were attracted to those women.
Take things more slowly with the woman you're currently seeing...
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Post by olamilove on Jan 9, 2007 10:58:28 GMT -5
Gracia,to you Da rock.This is one of the reason why I want you guys to comment and advise.Kudos to you also,Big Brother B.I am not dating anybody presently.You know why,I have discovered,that in our own setting here,women/ladies are after money or the material things of life. please,I want more response.
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Post by dolphinfan on Jan 9, 2007 20:00:28 GMT -5
Well well well, even in AFRICA................ they are crazy ass hell. Olamilove, I would suggest you get a sense of humor, Most women are only following traditions, to get ALONE. I can't speak for the women of Africa because they go through shyt, I can't even imagine, going on here. Freedom, comes with a cost, most people, didn't count on. One of those freedoms, is a REAL CHOICE in a mate. Nobody ever thought About reevaluating, what a relationship, is when both sexes have a choice of WHOM, they want to date or marry, or even just see. Black men in America, have the same problem. We are told one thing, about relationships, and women are told another, add in there religious views and wallah, you have a mess. I personally, fellow theses easy steps. 1, If you can't have a conversation, you ain't gonna have RELATIONS, for long. 2 You can't believe, in TWO versions of GAWD!! 3) Both of you, must have similar Goals!!!! 4) My favorite, you must have a JOB!!! 5)cute is only exciting in the beginning. 6) if she has kids and you are filling in, and she, ASKED for More, Yet Provides nothing else, but MORALE support, she's looking for a MULE or JACK-ASS, to do what she can't or the kids father, will not do. Drop her like a hot rock. 7)Stop seeing yourself as a Father figure, and only as a Man!!! and a FRIEND!!!, chicks digg this. They like Independence (Women). 8) Really know and understand, todays woman. 9) don't ever, give in to base needs, to make your point AS A MAN. Women know good dick, and know that they can get it ,if they really wanted it. Or at least as much of it as she can stand. 10) Lastly; like men, women have patterns, of when they want to be bothered, and when then need company. Most cases, are as simple as, the places they are at. But if you follow , some of theses steps, make a mistake or two!!!. Learn, what likes you!!!!, not what you think OR hope ,likes you. And IGNORE THE REST. There are a lot of single women in America, and some of it, is there FAULT. But most of it, is the times we live in. No one has a clear answer, unless you are rich and look good. Or have a show like FLAVA FLAV. Once you get over the small stuff, become a specialist in YOU. You will be surprised at who's watching!!! and how much you get.
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Post by olamilove on Jan 11, 2007 4:35:08 GMT -5
Dolphinphan, I humbly appreciate your post on my situation.Infact you did real justice to the topic.Amongst those things mentioned,happened to be one of the things that,I have practised. Notable,that touched my heart is the issue of a job.My brother,this is what you are very much aware of.Still looking for something better thant what,I am presently doing. Supposing,I'm working in a big establishemnt,I would have seen, a lady who might reason manageably the way I do.My brother the langauge women understnd most is MONEY. I am not looking bad,that is for outward look.Inwardly,I m okay. Please do not take it as if,I'm too boastful. I want more response.
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Post by dolphinfan on Jan 11, 2007 19:03:57 GMT -5
Dolphinphan, I humbly appreciate your post on my situation.Infact you did real justice to the topic.Amongst those things mentioned,happened to be one of the things that,I have practised. Notable,that touched my heart is the issue of a job.My brother,this is what you are very much aware of.Still looking for something better thant what,I am presently doing. Supposing,I'm working in a big establishemnt,I would have seen, a lady who might reason manageably the way I do.My brother the langauge women understnd most is MONEY. I am not looking bad,that is for outward look.Inwardly,I m okay. Please do not take it as if,I'm too boastful. I want more response. Peace of mind, is the key , to everything. I have peace of mind, because a women dosen't make or break me. She can make my life better, or even worst. but only i can let it happen for longer then nessary. I have confidence, I've even been called cocky. But the fruits, of whom I am, are great, because my friendships, bear them out ( Male and Female). My loves, speak volumes about me. BUT!!! I'm still alone!!! and thats the biggest, loudest volume of them all. Maybe, I'm too proud, to be with anybody, other then myself? this too may effect you too. Don't get me wrong, I'm very open, except!!!! when you tell me something, that you are, and if I find out, you are not what you are saying, I lose interest........... with the quick-ness!!!!. I'm not a perfectionist, I'm a realist!!!!!!!!! So the only bonafied, way to explain, your perdicament is, that the women, you desire, don't have the desire to be with you..........YET. Remember, most women around the world are making choices, they have never had before and that we ,as men take for granted!!!. So no matter , what me or you or anybody else, thinks about ourselves, they are the one's who make the finnal choice about us. As a Man, I have turned down a good lay, to avoid a bad relationship. Most men would have hit it and quit it. And one more women, would be banging her head, against some church wall wondering, what the hell is she doing wrong. I try to deal with women, who have the same MINDSET, I have, this leaves the bullshyt, for the gamers. I make sure I get laid, paid, and have a roof over my head. I speak to people, I listen, i learn. I even know my learning curve, (about three weeks to pick up on new things). So no matter, how attractive, the women maybe, if we can't CONVERSATE, I can't relate. And most women digg that approach. I can't speak for AFRICAN WOMEN. But hear in AMERICA. Women want to have it both ways!!. One minute, a feminist, the next, No responcilbilty, except, when there children are involved. This dosen't make them BAD, just up to no good, for the average man!!. So it's up to you, not them, to make them believers, in you as a man. I do this, by staying pack, and firm, to what I believe in. I don't try to change them!!! I will help out, but if you ain't a friend, you need to head back to the person or situation, that put you in your PLACE. I don't preach. I not afraid to be me!!!! I also understand the COST, to be ME!!! Believe it or not, women love this. BUT, like all good sales men, you must believe in what you say, any crack in the armor, a real women, will see.
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Post by olamilove on Jan 15, 2007 7:42:12 GMT -5
Dolphinphan, If by chance as I'm working towards it,I '' like to chat with you.Additionally,I have a firm belief that me n you share some thoughts together.Cos, the way you made your points explained my mind. You are just too good as a friend.Thank you for taking the pain and time to explain the way you did.I wish to have a world without woman.i e.Have children without woman.My world in some areas is diffrent from your own. My religion(Islam) forbidds celibacy in whatever form under any guise. To an extent I'm the humorous type,who can create fun with a lot of things.I do not have problem conversing or chatting up ladies.What I found scarce is getting across to the mature ones. The line,that I'trekking now is that of a complete realist as you highlighted above.I wish to get married this year with God's permition.I do not believe in long-time courtship relationship.Should I come across a seriousminded,presentable,tolerant,understanding lady now,my people,I gat no choice than to start procreation.
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Post by dolphinfan on Jan 15, 2007 11:51:04 GMT -5
Dolphinphan, If by chance as I'm working towards it,I '' like to chat with you.Additionally,I have a firm belief that me n you share some thoughts together.Cos, the way you made your points explained my mind. You are just too good as a friend.Thank you for taking the pain and time to explain the way you did.I wish to have a world without woman.i e.Have children without woman.My world in some areas is diffrent from your own. My religion(Islam) forbidds celibacy in whatever form under any guise. To an extent I'm the humorous type,who can create fun with a lot of things.I do not have problem conversing or chatting up ladies.What I found scarce is getting across to the mature ones. The line,that I'trekking now is that of a complete realist as you highlighted above.I wish to get married this year with God's permition.I do not believe in long-time courtship relationship.Should I come across a seriousminded,presentable,tolerant,understanding lady now,my people,I gat no choice than to start procreation. It hard for me to say, what I'm gonna say. But I feel I have to say it hear and now. If you are DESPORATE, to find your perfect mate!!, the less chance, you will give her to show up in your life. I hope I'm not saying something, that may be culturally unsound to you. But the truth is the truth. Ain't nothing worst, then thinking you have to stay with somebody, you don't like or even love, because you think your time may be running out. I'm forty 42 this year, and I have no children!!!, At 40 I was supposed to get, fixed like a dog!! but decided against it. My reasons are my own. I refuse to have children with any women, I don't, at least get to know. Or believe, if we should part, our child or children, would not have the best between us. As you probably figured out by now, that dosen't nessarily include marriage. (I'm not against it.) I'm just against being unhappy, because society, says this is the best way. If you are worried about your legacy, I suggest you talk to some of your friend within your faith, were things didn't work out and see how they handled things. I see from news reports(in Africa), women are having babys out of wed lock, for whatever reasons. I have been a step dad, it's not that bad!!!!!!!, as long as the rules are followed, by the adults. But again, not being of your faith, I don't know what the social ramifications, would be for you or her. I do know this!!, when and if you, have accumulated enough wealth( in your culture, I ASSUME!!), your circumstances, will change. I can tell you from experiense, this will not make you happy, yes you will be able to bragg and show off, your new statis, but will you be happy inside? Thats!!!!, the peace of mind , I talked about, comes from a acummulation, of the knowledge, you gained over the years, and the ability, to use it, to make your life easier. That dosen't mean, that theres another person beside you. If you feel by the end of the year, you should have a wife, good luck!!!. I personally feel as long as I get laid from time to time, and MAINTAIN, close and personable relationships, with both sexes, i should be find. One more thing. As a younger man, I thought I would be the one with 3 or 4 children, FAT, the house and good job!!!, Well I have always kept a good Job. And i'm not FAT!!, go figure? I also have had, lots of chances to make a baby, too. But I feel a two parent home, is the best way to raise a child, and I have been tempted. But I strap, the rubber on, and do what I have to do that night. Some men, were ment to be husbands, and others, were ment to be lovers. The husbands job is hard work. b Because he is there 90% of the time. The lovers job, is eazy, all he has to do, is satisfy, and be invited back. Right now, I like being the lover and friend (personally). Marrieage will probably happen for me, ten or fifteen years down the line. And she willl probably be a devorcee, with kids or grand kids. So mentally, I decided to let it ride, and go with what life throws my way, and to be truthful, it's been nice. What i lack in a premenant, relationship, I have made up, of many good friends. So do what you feel is right, but remember this, just beause you caught the fish, dosen't mean it taste good!!! or prehaps, it's a aquired taste? life is funny like that. Good luck in your choice.
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Post by olamilove on Jan 30, 2007 7:36:08 GMT -5
Dolphinphan,thank you very much.Please accept my apology for not responding earlier than this.It has been due to ups and downs of life to make ends meet that has been disturbing. I have actually studied your points and arrived at a conlusion to take my time. Once again, thank you very much
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Post by dolphinfan on Jan 31, 2007 8:51:42 GMT -5
Dolphinphan,thank you very much.Please accept my apology for not responding earlier than this.It has been due to ups and downs of life to make ends meet that has been disturbing. I have actually studied your points and arrived at a conlusion to take my time. Once again, thank you very much No problem
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