Post by jazzlover on Feb 2, 2007 7:53:53 GMT -5
"Is it a sin to love my sister as much or more than I would love a man? Is the sin in loving or is the sin in the sexual act that came due to the strong love for my sister?" This question was asked of me recently as I talked to a sister in the Lord who was struggling with lesbianism. Wait, you said the words a "sister in the Lord" and the word "lesbianism" all in the same sentence!!! The two don't go together!!
Children of God indeed they do!! I come to tear a great big hole through the religious "holier than thou" covering that has cloaked itself over the minds and eyes of the church. Let me also say this, I make no apologies for destroying your clean cut covering. It is time that the people of God awaken from their sleep and deal with reality. Can the people of God just be real? When will we face the facts that the same mess that is going on in the world has walked its way into the church?
As it has been well proven, there is a bond, a friendship that women share with each other that most men do not
understand. I believe the Lord meant for us as women to be just that close. Why else would the devil have us warring against each other over foolishness? "She's wearing my outfit!" "She's looking at my man!" "She cut her eyes at me!!" Foolishness!!! Now honestly my sisters, men could care less about those things yet we allow these things to separate us. The devil is wise. He knows all to well what happens when women join together in the Lord. He knows the power we have in the Holy Ghost when we bond together, when our souls "knit" together as Jonathan did with David, (I Samuel 18:1), and we come to love each other as our own soul. The devil knows that when women join together we can make leaps and bounds in the realm of the spirit and destroy the works of the enemy! Now don't get me wrong, I am in no ways condoning the lesbian lifestyle. It is a sin and God is not in it at all. I am simply stating that there is a friendship that women have that is awesome in God. What happens is the enemy takes that friendship and tries to taint it. When we lose our focus and look to others before God we then step into doors that are difficult to close without the power of the Holy Ghost.
Am I going too fast for some of you? Somebody right now reading this article is saying, "How would you begin to know what I am feeling?" Alright, let me deviate just a little and talk about myself. I grew up in the church. From birth I heard the unadulterated Gospel of Jesus Christ. I knew right from wrong. I knew what it meant to be saved and I knew how to "act" saved. I never questioned my sexuality. Actually, I lived a very promiscuous life, folks just didn't know it. After all, I was the pastor's daughter. I had friends who were homosexuals and lesbians?and I had even been propositioned by women. There was no question in my mind though. I loved men. So, who am I? I am a happily married, with children, licensed Evangelist in the Church of God in Christ, going forth in ministry who lost focus and ended up in a lesbian relationship.
I met a sister who I bonded with. We loved the Lord! We prayed together, we fasted together, we studied the Word of God together. Anointed women of God. She was in my heart and it was pure. God said in His Word, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me". (Exodus 20:3) When you begin to "worship" another more than you worship the one and true God you open doorways for the enemy to come in and ruin that which God has ordained. We began consulting each other before we consulted the Lord. I placed my all in her and our friendship more than the Lord. The doorway opened and the spirit of lesbianism walked right in. Our pure friendship was tainted. I lost focus.
Now you want to talk about a struggle? By this time I was no longer just a pastor's daughter. I was now a pastor's wife, past youth leader and the Evangelist who other women came to for prayer, advice and counsel. I struggled in my flesh and was tormented in my mind. Paul talks in Romans about the struggle. "When I would to do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members warring against the law of my mind and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" (Romans 7: 22-24)
I struggled in my flesh and was tormented in my mind. Now, I'm not talking to you from the life of someone who was abused by men and found comfort in a woman. I am talking to you from your viewpoint. A woman in the church, who has given her life to the Lord, working diligently in the ministry with a title! Recognize those characteristics? If you are honest with yourself some of you will admit that it sounds just like you. The problem is no one knows what torment you are going through in your mind. I committed the act and the enemy tormented me for months. Those around me thought everything was wonderful. They did not know that I was dying on the inside. They did not know that I had thoughts of leaving my husband/children, committing suicide or just giving up altogether and giving myself over to the enemy and live the lesbian lifestyle. Who was I going to tell? I couldn't stand up during testimony service and ask the church to pray for me because I was struggling with a lesbian spirit. You know as well as I do that unfortunately there would have been much talk going on amongst the saints and not a whole lot of prayer. If there was anyone there who could relate to what I was dealing with they weren't going to admit it!! Unfortunately, there are pastor's wives,Evangelists, Youth Leaders, Choir members, etc. sitting next to you in your Sunday morning service who may be fighting this demon. They are dying on the inside but the masks they wear on the outside make it look like they have it all together.
Do the words "woman of God" and "lesbianism" relate at all? Yes, unfortunately they do. It is time that the church opens their eyes and realize that this spirit of lesbianism is running rampant in our churches. No one wants to deal with it. It's too touchy a subject. After all who wants to bring it up for fear that the saints may think you are talking from experience? We touch on our brothers and homosexuality but what about our sisters? How do we deal with the sisters who are shouting over their struggle? They walk into our services looking the part. They know how to lift their hands, stomp their feet and even bring the message. Yet on the inside the torment is great. On the inside they are crying out, "I just want to be free!" "O wretched man that I am who will deliver me?"
Is there a way out? Praise God my sisters there is! I had to ask myself the same questions I had asked so many others while ministering. 1) How bad do you want to be free? 2) Are you willing to do whatever it takes to be free? I had to recognize that the enemy had control over my mind and I had to take authority over it in the name of Jesus. It took me being honest with myself, despite my "title". I came to the conclusion that I loved the Lord more than anything or anyone else. I needed deliverance and I was willing to do whatever it took to be free. I sought the Lord. I prayed, I fasted (Matt. 17:21), I learned to starve my flesh and feed my spirit with the things of God. The struggle was hard, but deliverance is a sacrifice. When you are seeking deliverance you have to know that you have to let go of some things! It will be painful and deliverance is a process but it is well worth it. I'm not going to say it was easy, but I can say that at this point in my life I am totally delivered and able to stand in the gap for my sisters who are struggling with this spirit.
My sister cut me off and to this day is not speaking to me. That hurt me almost to death. I miss her friendship, but I love God more. I decided that my walk with the Lord was more important to me than anything the enemy could offer. I yet have propositions and some looks that come my way, and the enemy yet tries to drop thoughts in my mind, but I choose Jesus!! He is the only one who can make the difference. I praise God because my marriage is sealed by the blood of Jesus and my ministry is led by the Lord. Not only is the Lord a deliverer but He is a healer of broken hearts.
Women of God you don't have to be forced to play a game where you always lose, yet can't seem to stop playing. You can love your sister and it yet be pure. The Lord did it for me and I know He can and will do the same for you. "Is it a sin to love my sister as much or more than I would a man?" David said concerning his covenant brother Jonathan, "?very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women." (II Samuel 1:26) Contrary to what some may believe, there was no homosexual relationship going on between Jonathan and David. It was pure love because of the Lord. I say if it worked for Jonathan and David it can work for the Women of God. My sisters, let's love each other pure and free and bond together and destroy the enemy in the name of Jesus. For whom the son hath set free is free indeed.
Children of God indeed they do!! I come to tear a great big hole through the religious "holier than thou" covering that has cloaked itself over the minds and eyes of the church. Let me also say this, I make no apologies for destroying your clean cut covering. It is time that the people of God awaken from their sleep and deal with reality. Can the people of God just be real? When will we face the facts that the same mess that is going on in the world has walked its way into the church?
As it has been well proven, there is a bond, a friendship that women share with each other that most men do not
understand. I believe the Lord meant for us as women to be just that close. Why else would the devil have us warring against each other over foolishness? "She's wearing my outfit!" "She's looking at my man!" "She cut her eyes at me!!" Foolishness!!! Now honestly my sisters, men could care less about those things yet we allow these things to separate us. The devil is wise. He knows all to well what happens when women join together in the Lord. He knows the power we have in the Holy Ghost when we bond together, when our souls "knit" together as Jonathan did with David, (I Samuel 18:1), and we come to love each other as our own soul. The devil knows that when women join together we can make leaps and bounds in the realm of the spirit and destroy the works of the enemy! Now don't get me wrong, I am in no ways condoning the lesbian lifestyle. It is a sin and God is not in it at all. I am simply stating that there is a friendship that women have that is awesome in God. What happens is the enemy takes that friendship and tries to taint it. When we lose our focus and look to others before God we then step into doors that are difficult to close without the power of the Holy Ghost.
Am I going too fast for some of you? Somebody right now reading this article is saying, "How would you begin to know what I am feeling?" Alright, let me deviate just a little and talk about myself. I grew up in the church. From birth I heard the unadulterated Gospel of Jesus Christ. I knew right from wrong. I knew what it meant to be saved and I knew how to "act" saved. I never questioned my sexuality. Actually, I lived a very promiscuous life, folks just didn't know it. After all, I was the pastor's daughter. I had friends who were homosexuals and lesbians?and I had even been propositioned by women. There was no question in my mind though. I loved men. So, who am I? I am a happily married, with children, licensed Evangelist in the Church of God in Christ, going forth in ministry who lost focus and ended up in a lesbian relationship.
I met a sister who I bonded with. We loved the Lord! We prayed together, we fasted together, we studied the Word of God together. Anointed women of God. She was in my heart and it was pure. God said in His Word, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me". (Exodus 20:3) When you begin to "worship" another more than you worship the one and true God you open doorways for the enemy to come in and ruin that which God has ordained. We began consulting each other before we consulted the Lord. I placed my all in her and our friendship more than the Lord. The doorway opened and the spirit of lesbianism walked right in. Our pure friendship was tainted. I lost focus.
Now you want to talk about a struggle? By this time I was no longer just a pastor's daughter. I was now a pastor's wife, past youth leader and the Evangelist who other women came to for prayer, advice and counsel. I struggled in my flesh and was tormented in my mind. Paul talks in Romans about the struggle. "When I would to do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members warring against the law of my mind and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" (Romans 7: 22-24)
I struggled in my flesh and was tormented in my mind. Now, I'm not talking to you from the life of someone who was abused by men and found comfort in a woman. I am talking to you from your viewpoint. A woman in the church, who has given her life to the Lord, working diligently in the ministry with a title! Recognize those characteristics? If you are honest with yourself some of you will admit that it sounds just like you. The problem is no one knows what torment you are going through in your mind. I committed the act and the enemy tormented me for months. Those around me thought everything was wonderful. They did not know that I was dying on the inside. They did not know that I had thoughts of leaving my husband/children, committing suicide or just giving up altogether and giving myself over to the enemy and live the lesbian lifestyle. Who was I going to tell? I couldn't stand up during testimony service and ask the church to pray for me because I was struggling with a lesbian spirit. You know as well as I do that unfortunately there would have been much talk going on amongst the saints and not a whole lot of prayer. If there was anyone there who could relate to what I was dealing with they weren't going to admit it!! Unfortunately, there are pastor's wives,Evangelists, Youth Leaders, Choir members, etc. sitting next to you in your Sunday morning service who may be fighting this demon. They are dying on the inside but the masks they wear on the outside make it look like they have it all together.
Do the words "woman of God" and "lesbianism" relate at all? Yes, unfortunately they do. It is time that the church opens their eyes and realize that this spirit of lesbianism is running rampant in our churches. No one wants to deal with it. It's too touchy a subject. After all who wants to bring it up for fear that the saints may think you are talking from experience? We touch on our brothers and homosexuality but what about our sisters? How do we deal with the sisters who are shouting over their struggle? They walk into our services looking the part. They know how to lift their hands, stomp their feet and even bring the message. Yet on the inside the torment is great. On the inside they are crying out, "I just want to be free!" "O wretched man that I am who will deliver me?"
Is there a way out? Praise God my sisters there is! I had to ask myself the same questions I had asked so many others while ministering. 1) How bad do you want to be free? 2) Are you willing to do whatever it takes to be free? I had to recognize that the enemy had control over my mind and I had to take authority over it in the name of Jesus. It took me being honest with myself, despite my "title". I came to the conclusion that I loved the Lord more than anything or anyone else. I needed deliverance and I was willing to do whatever it took to be free. I sought the Lord. I prayed, I fasted (Matt. 17:21), I learned to starve my flesh and feed my spirit with the things of God. The struggle was hard, but deliverance is a sacrifice. When you are seeking deliverance you have to know that you have to let go of some things! It will be painful and deliverance is a process but it is well worth it. I'm not going to say it was easy, but I can say that at this point in my life I am totally delivered and able to stand in the gap for my sisters who are struggling with this spirit.
My sister cut me off and to this day is not speaking to me. That hurt me almost to death. I miss her friendship, but I love God more. I decided that my walk with the Lord was more important to me than anything the enemy could offer. I yet have propositions and some looks that come my way, and the enemy yet tries to drop thoughts in my mind, but I choose Jesus!! He is the only one who can make the difference. I praise God because my marriage is sealed by the blood of Jesus and my ministry is led by the Lord. Not only is the Lord a deliverer but He is a healer of broken hearts.
Women of God you don't have to be forced to play a game where you always lose, yet can't seem to stop playing. You can love your sister and it yet be pure. The Lord did it for me and I know He can and will do the same for you. "Is it a sin to love my sister as much or more than I would a man?" David said concerning his covenant brother Jonathan, "?very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women." (II Samuel 1:26) Contrary to what some may believe, there was no homosexual relationship going on between Jonathan and David. It was pure love because of the Lord. I say if it worked for Jonathan and David it can work for the Women of God. My sisters, let's love each other pure and free and bond together and destroy the enemy in the name of Jesus. For whom the son hath set free is free indeed.