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Post by Blaque on Nov 24, 2006 10:42:38 GMT -5
There’s this guy that I have been friends with for a couple of years. Just friends. All of a sudden he is calling me his baby and telling me that I need to call him every day. This is a person who I’ve tried to hook up with other women. I’ve never given him the impression that I like him…I don’t think. I admit, I can be overly friendly to the opposite sex sometimes.
But I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I don’t want to mislead this man either. He just went through an ugly divorce so I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
I don’t know what to do. Should I wait before I say anything to him or should I let him know that I only think of him as a friend?
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drok9
B.E. Sergeant
Too Blessed To Be Stressed
Posts: 1,084
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Post by drok9 on Nov 24, 2006 11:37:46 GMT -5
I wouldn't say anything unless he makes a move.
I've had this problem before with my male friends ... its a weird feeling and can sometimes mess up the friendship. I think if you continue to just act like friends and don't feed into his hints you will be okay. He will either take the "hint" that you are sending him which is ignoring his hints or he will just ignore your hints and make his move and take his chance that you will either grab a hold of it and run with him or reject him.
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Post by Blaque on Nov 24, 2006 11:57:43 GMT -5
I’ll keep referring to him as my brother the way I have always done and pray that he doesn’t make any advances.
This has happened to me before too. A guy that I considered a very good friend took me to lunch and then told me he wanted to sleep with me. When I told him no, but that he would always be my friend, he stopped speaking to me.
I really don't want to be put in that situation again.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Nov 24, 2006 15:22:21 GMT -5
I would say he became "closer" to you when he was having his problems. That is a natural instinct for some people. But yeah I would address it only if he pushed the envelope. But just know that it will change especially when you turn him down. It does suck to be put in that position. If his friendship is genuine he will want to stay friends. Hmmm, man being a friend... unless he is gay.
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drok9
B.E. Sergeant
Too Blessed To Be Stressed
Posts: 1,084
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Post by drok9 on Nov 24, 2006 17:40:46 GMT -5
Either way it will be difficult ... if you say something prematurely he will deny it and act like you are crazy. If you wait until he makes the move and say something then, the friendship will feel weird ... beware those of the ones that say they can continue to be friends after you turn them down. There was a guy who said he could be my friend after I turned him down ... well, this brotha would attack me with kisses and hugs every chance he could get .. ugh! Had to break that friendship off for good which was sad because I thougth he was cool.
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Post by Blaque on Nov 25, 2006 11:15:31 GMT -5
Thanks for all the good advice ladies. I will proceed with caution.
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Post by lusciouslois on Nov 27, 2006 8:49:53 GMT -5
I would say he became "closer" to you when he was having his problems. That is a natural instinct for some people. But yeah I would address it only if he pushed the envelope. But just know that it will change especially when you turn him down. It does suck to be put in that position. If his friendship is genuine he will want to stay friends. Hmmm, man being a friend... unless he is gay. Sweetpie, be nice they may be few and far between but SOME men can be only friends with a woman and not be gay....hell, a LOT of them only want to be friends and tell you their problems with other women
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Sista Chi
B.E. Sergeant
There's No One Like Her
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Sista Chi on Nov 27, 2006 23:46:16 GMT -5
LL: " ......hell, a LOT of them only want to be friends and tell you their problems with other women..."
^^ I know right! lol
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