Post by cinnaroll32 on Jul 3, 2006 21:24:51 GMT -5
All people need love, for it is love that gives our lives meaning and fulfillment. Children are no exception. In fact, they need the unconditional love of their parents, if they are to develop into happy, well-adjusted adults.
Children who know they are loved will, more than likely, turn out well, have high self-esteem, achieve at a higher academic level, and have healthier relationships, than those who feel unloved.
Children who are deprived of love in the family unit will seek it elsewhere. They are more likely to have low opinions of themselves and others, tend to be lower academic achievers, may be more inclined to join a gang, may become entangled in the legal system, may become parents too soon, and may suffer from a greater number of mental, emotional and physical problems.
The childrearing road is long and demanding, yet offers tremendous joy and satisfaction when it is paved with love. Giving and receiving love and plenty of it, seems the wise choice. So how can we assure our children that they are loved and help them really feel this?
The suggestions that follow are just starting points. No matter the age of your children, these are practices that, if done often enough, will become healthy affirming habits.
Here are practical ways to express love to children of all ages:
1. Maintain a peaceful home. Children need to see conflicts resolved peacefully.
2. Say "Good Morning" with a wish that one have a good day, and "Good Night," along with a concern that the day went well.
3. Say something encouraging and positive daily.
4. Give them healthy nutritious food.
5. Share something about yourself, your workday or some other activity that you participate in.
6. Show affection. Don't let a day go by without a hug, a pat on the back, a kiss.
7. Show interest in their world---school, extracurricular activities, friends, issues that concern them.
8. Meet your child's teacher. Never turn your child over to anyone that you haven't met.
9. Take them on family vacations.
10. Give them a spiritual base.
11. Accept them for who they are.
12. Make sure your home reflects your culture. This promotes love of self and one's people.
13. Be a good role model.
14. Discipline with compassion.
15. Practice patience.
16. Don't forget to say, "I love you, and I'm glad you're my son/daughter."
Following are age-appropriate displays of love. But remember that stages overlap and suggestions are cumulative:
Ages 5-8,
1. Praise, praise, praise
2. Take the time to play games with them.
3. Read to them/listen to them as they learn how to read. This should be a regular and pleasurable activity.
4. Get down on the floor (at their physical level) and play and talk with them.
5. Set limits early on. When necessary, be firm, yet compassionate. Parents must take the time and show patience to train children.
Ages 9-12,
1. Find ways to spend individual time with each child. This may be only two or three times a year, but it can make each one feel special and prized. Declare that day as "Patrice's Day!"
2. Share some of your positive childhood memories.
3. You should still read to your child and listen to them read. Let them select the reading material. Interests
will vary with each child and by age group.
4. Examine your value system and make necessary adjustments. In this way, we help children develop a value system that they will carry with them throughout life.
Ages 13-17,
1. Be a good listener. Keep the channels of communication open.
2. Discuss their long and short-term goals.
3. Maintain your position as parent. Yes, you are your child's "friend" in the sense of being there for them,
but remember that they still look to you for guidance, even when they balk at your authority.
4. Maintain contact. Do not let job, social activities, dating, etc. consume all of your time or theirs.
5. Be there. Even though they are becoming independent, they still need parents.
www.familydigest.com/stories/importance_child.cfm
by Emma M. Talbott
Children who know they are loved will, more than likely, turn out well, have high self-esteem, achieve at a higher academic level, and have healthier relationships, than those who feel unloved.
Children who are deprived of love in the family unit will seek it elsewhere. They are more likely to have low opinions of themselves and others, tend to be lower academic achievers, may be more inclined to join a gang, may become entangled in the legal system, may become parents too soon, and may suffer from a greater number of mental, emotional and physical problems.
The childrearing road is long and demanding, yet offers tremendous joy and satisfaction when it is paved with love. Giving and receiving love and plenty of it, seems the wise choice. So how can we assure our children that they are loved and help them really feel this?
The suggestions that follow are just starting points. No matter the age of your children, these are practices that, if done often enough, will become healthy affirming habits.
Here are practical ways to express love to children of all ages:
1. Maintain a peaceful home. Children need to see conflicts resolved peacefully.
2. Say "Good Morning" with a wish that one have a good day, and "Good Night," along with a concern that the day went well.
3. Say something encouraging and positive daily.
4. Give them healthy nutritious food.
5. Share something about yourself, your workday or some other activity that you participate in.
6. Show affection. Don't let a day go by without a hug, a pat on the back, a kiss.
7. Show interest in their world---school, extracurricular activities, friends, issues that concern them.
8. Meet your child's teacher. Never turn your child over to anyone that you haven't met.
9. Take them on family vacations.
10. Give them a spiritual base.
11. Accept them for who they are.
12. Make sure your home reflects your culture. This promotes love of self and one's people.
13. Be a good role model.
14. Discipline with compassion.
15. Practice patience.
16. Don't forget to say, "I love you, and I'm glad you're my son/daughter."
Following are age-appropriate displays of love. But remember that stages overlap and suggestions are cumulative:
Ages 5-8,
1. Praise, praise, praise
2. Take the time to play games with them.
3. Read to them/listen to them as they learn how to read. This should be a regular and pleasurable activity.
4. Get down on the floor (at their physical level) and play and talk with them.
5. Set limits early on. When necessary, be firm, yet compassionate. Parents must take the time and show patience to train children.
Ages 9-12,
1. Find ways to spend individual time with each child. This may be only two or three times a year, but it can make each one feel special and prized. Declare that day as "Patrice's Day!"
2. Share some of your positive childhood memories.
3. You should still read to your child and listen to them read. Let them select the reading material. Interests
will vary with each child and by age group.
4. Examine your value system and make necessary adjustments. In this way, we help children develop a value system that they will carry with them throughout life.
Ages 13-17,
1. Be a good listener. Keep the channels of communication open.
2. Discuss their long and short-term goals.
3. Maintain your position as parent. Yes, you are your child's "friend" in the sense of being there for them,
but remember that they still look to you for guidance, even when they balk at your authority.
4. Maintain contact. Do not let job, social activities, dating, etc. consume all of your time or theirs.
5. Be there. Even though they are becoming independent, they still need parents.
www.familydigest.com/stories/importance_child.cfm
by Emma M. Talbott