Post by cinnaroll32 on Nov 7, 2006 1:51:52 GMT -5
1. Punishing parents tend to use punitive, escalating, and external pressure through grounding, spanking, "taking away", yelling, threatening - to try and control their children. Children respond by seeking power through rebellion, deception, and argumentativeness. Children refocus arguments on whether or not the parent is "fair", instead of examining whatever they did to invoke the punishment in the first place.
Bottom line: Punishing parents work way too hard in this power-struggle based approach.
2. Authoritative parents, on the other hand, are quietly confident in their parenting. They know children make mistakes and learn best by experiencing natural and logical consequences. They do not need to "invent" ever-escalating punishments, but, "allow the consequences to fit the crime." They give their children choices - so that the child can decide about their behavior - and therefore learn over time to make responsible choices.
Bottom line: Authoritative parents guide, not control, their children by empowering them to make good choices and experience natural and logical consequences for poor choices.
3. Indulgent Parents seek to avoid the escalating conflicts and arguments characteristic of punishing approaches. Here, others suffer from the child's poor choices as natural and logical consequences are removed. The child is "bailed out" too often. Child fails to learn to connect "real world" consequences with their self-absorbed behaviors and choices and lacks empathy for the needs of others.
Bottom line: Others suffer the consequences of the child's poor choices and the child fails to grow.
Over the years I have structured my parenting style to the Authoritative parenting style because children sometimes only learn from experience.
Bottom line: Punishing parents work way too hard in this power-struggle based approach.
2. Authoritative parents, on the other hand, are quietly confident in their parenting. They know children make mistakes and learn best by experiencing natural and logical consequences. They do not need to "invent" ever-escalating punishments, but, "allow the consequences to fit the crime." They give their children choices - so that the child can decide about their behavior - and therefore learn over time to make responsible choices.
Bottom line: Authoritative parents guide, not control, their children by empowering them to make good choices and experience natural and logical consequences for poor choices.
3. Indulgent Parents seek to avoid the escalating conflicts and arguments characteristic of punishing approaches. Here, others suffer from the child's poor choices as natural and logical consequences are removed. The child is "bailed out" too often. Child fails to learn to connect "real world" consequences with their self-absorbed behaviors and choices and lacks empathy for the needs of others.
Bottom line: Others suffer the consequences of the child's poor choices and the child fails to grow.
Over the years I have structured my parenting style to the Authoritative parenting style because children sometimes only learn from experience.