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Post by sunflower on Dec 4, 2006 19:36:41 GMT -5
My oldest son is going to be 17 in less than a month and lately, I've noticed a change in how we interact with each other. He is getting to where he wants to make his own decisions about things, but is still trying to hang on to his childhood. We're bumping heads and he's taking a certain tone with me because he's trying to stand on his own.
While he seems to be having issues with listening to me or his father as far as advice, he seems to be listening to "outside" people which is a bit irritating because there is something to benefit them involved.
I try not to "lecture" him and just talk to him, but I don't think he's hearing what's being said. Of all my children, he has been allowed to explore by way of his activities - he participates in pretty much everything he's wanted to do, but his current activity is starting to interfere with the needs of the other kids. It is having affect on me getting home at fairly reasonable hour, how much time I have to give to my other kids, etc
I think that he needs to grow up and stop thinking that because he wants something that it's a done deal.
He things that it's just about what he wants and won't look at the entire picture. For his birthday, I've decided to give him he gift of driving by signing him up for driving class so that he can get his license. Then he can drive himself to practice.................Guess I have to let go at some point right?
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sudan
B.E. Specialist
Posts: 414
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Post by sudan on Dec 8, 2006 4:24:37 GMT -5
...You can NEVER let go ~ entirely, He will ALLWAYS be YOUR little boy. And you should NEVER stop giving him advice so that while he is out there on his journey in life seeing and doing all the things that you already have experiences in....he will hear your voice in the back of his mind telling him how to deal with this new adventure that he is about to embark on. He may not do it like you, in fact there is a GOOD chance that he will make a lot of mistakes. But it will be HIS mistakes, his Experiences, the ONLY things that will help him grow into the MAN he is meant to be.....And YOU WILL be there when he needs to talk, or listen some more. His needs will change, but he will allways be your Son and you will ALL~WAYS be his Mother.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Dec 8, 2006 7:46:47 GMT -5
Help him to become independent. Let him understand that his independence is gradual. When we try to hold on it turns into smothering (from their point of view) and he will rebel anyway. This is a time for him to begin falling on his behind. He will see, he will begin to recognize what your role in his life truly is. You are not going to be able to keep him from falling even though as mothers that is what we do. I understand about so-called friends they have a power like no other. Let him know what you want him to know and leave it at that, you are doing your job. If you said nothing what kind of mother would you be?
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Post by sunflower on Dec 10, 2006 15:11:46 GMT -5
Thank you both for your input. In knowing tha I need to let go, maybe that's why I am having a bit of a time with things. Sometimes it's like he isn't listening to me. I worry that because he hasn't had a real positive role model, that he will be lacking when it comes to becoming a man.
Your right. Although he's 5"10 I still see my baby.
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cinnaroll32
B.E. Sergeant
Happiness is the key.
Posts: 1,637
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Post by cinnaroll32 on Dec 12, 2006 9:06:44 GMT -5
Sunflower, I have been going through that for sometime now and I pretty much learn that they have to be independent . Independence is what will assist them out in the world . I will say continue to encourage him and stand by him also, pray daily because of the many adversaries in the world today that they face.
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Post by Blaque on Dec 26, 2006 14:20:31 GMT -5
Sunflower, if I were in your situation, I would like to think that I would give my son the space to make his own decisions. I would always give him advice but ultimately, at 17, the decision has to be his.
Even if he makes the wrong choices, be there to love and support him. It's better that he makes some mistakes now while he's young than when he's older and there's a lot more on the line.
Good luck!
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