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Post by olamilove on Aug 12, 2006 6:58:24 GMT -5
[color=Black]Marriage,is conducted in registry,religious houses and wherever and however possible by the parties involved. In Africa,aside from the issue of religions,marraige is sacred,therefore the bride and the groom are expected not to have had any sexual experience till the first night of thier wedding,so the issue of virginity was taken more than serious. For any woman or lady,married and separated with husband or father of her children is considered as absurd.Therefore,returning to her parents is considered as a kind of oddity.From my understanding,all the social anormalies being experienced in US,are available in Nigeria. I will like to know the reasons why most American or women of advanced countries prefer to stay single,separated or divorced.[/color][/b]
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Aug 12, 2006 13:23:36 GMT -5
It wouldn't call it a preference...
Having some man instead of no man is not a very good reason to marry.
The majority of women want a mate but not some of the things that may come with him. It is not worth the misery of someone that is unfaithful, abusive or psychologically warped. A mutual love, respect, and honor would have to fit in there somewhere. You wouldn't try to establish a relationship if the two do not have something in common in some sort of way.
The importance of staying together and trying to work it out means less and less here these days. It doesn't fit in our selfish culture. People get married for the wrong reasons. It takes work, effort and perseverence. Feelings change with a whim but it takes being strong through all of that to stay together. That kind of thinking is not stressed in this culture, just turn on the t.v. or listen to the radio. There also is a lack of teaching from parent to child basically due to the younger and younger age of the parents that is... IF they are together.
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Post by olamilove on Aug 14, 2006 8:57:55 GMT -5
Sweetpie,you've done your bit.I am expecting more responses from family members.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Aug 14, 2006 21:15:55 GMT -5
Otay!
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Post by dolphinfan on Aug 16, 2006 18:19:55 GMT -5
The one thing about America, that you have to learn is, we don't teach, what freedom, really means!!!!. The freedom to choose a mate. To have a child, with the person you love. Even if the relationship doesn't work out. Thats a lot of responsibility to have, just starting out life!!!!. We fail miserably on this subject!!. I blame the church, as well as men, for not teaching, what is needed!!!!!!!!! to make a good relationship work,as well as the tools, you will need to help make it grow (including marriage). I think it stemmed from, men resenting, women working along side them, so in some great Unity, they decided, we will not teach people how to get along, to get along. It worked for racist, why not sexist!!!. Our society, is living proof of some of that failure, the other part, lies strictly with the INDIVIDUAL to fix!! and thats a whole another story. Marriage is no longer, the GRAET sacred thing it use to be. In America, both parents have to work(if children are part of marriage). Women are expected to further, there education!!!, while most men are expected to find jobs!!! They go to school too, but in less numbers, then most, women(black). That causes a lag, of INTELLECT, which most women, abore( unless your cute!!). Dating in America is also not A typical, anymore, because of the freedoms women have, versus 50 years ago. So marriage, expectations, have changed, for both sexes, most men can no longer command, a woman attention, just because he has a job!!!, and again, none of this stuff is talk about, except, in frustration, after the fact. So while marriage, may still have some allure, within, religious communitys, in America, it's just a over hype, extended date, with more negetive consequences then it's worth. Especially if the only thing the two people have involved, are the HORIZIONAL HOOKY POOKIE.
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Post by olamilove on Aug 17, 2006 5:36:00 GMT -5
Well said.Of everything in this world,materialism do sustain relationship relationship in Nigeria.In other words,if you are manageable rich,you have steady,stable,peaceful relationship.This does not have anything to do with religion.The society is so disarticulated to the extent that you see a woman having six to five children to about four or five different men. Those days uptill now,women are bethroted to other family members of the dead husband.In Nigeria,there are several women that are in the homes of the father of thier children,claiming the title of being a wife,but they 've never been married.
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