Post by sweetpie on Jul 22, 2006 10:10:42 GMT -5
First, this was a topic from a show!! second, I agree with 100% with brother B and don't APPRECIATE YALL JUMPING ON HIM.
The fact that it is from a show brings it out to the forefront even better...
If you NEGROETTES!!! want HONESTY, in a relationship, you must be HONEST COMMMING in TO IT, and leave ALL baggage at the DOOR!!.
No one mentioned ANYTHING about being dishonest. We talked about having an account that homeboy doesn't necessarily have to know the freakin balance of! Women do not corner the market on baggage.
His points, If you are telling us to be up front!!! are VALID one's, why can't YOU be up front!!!.
I am not knocking being honest.
I have no problem with any woman of mind having her own shit, for whatever reason!!!!!!!!!!!. but when you feel you have to hide stuff from your mate, and it's not going to enhance the relationship!!!..............Lets get real. And we were TALKING about RESPONSIBILITIES, along with the HIDING, of money. If you can not afford to pay a certain amount for bills, say something early on, so that we, THE MEN, can adapt!!!!!! we might get mad, but if there is real love there, we will ADAPT!!!.
Why should you know something that is not going to enhance the relationship... what do you want? A blow by blow account of the woman's day? If something is happening yes, communication is VERY key. I do it all the time... Hey honey, I don't have enough money to pay can you help? That's all it takes.
This is really about RENEGING!! on a PROMISE!!!! Made. Not whether you can keep money on the side.
Let's keep perspective here... the promise has been made to love, honor and cherish... not to be interrogated about how I handle my life. When I step out of the door I should be trusted enough to handle my business especially, if I've not given you any reason not to. Yes, I am a grown woman and a grown man should not interrogate me because of his insecurities. If I have a problem you would know about it. It is NOT necessary for you to know whether Bob said HI to me or not. A blow by blow of my day you would not get.
Men like to know, that if a issue should come up!!, HE/WE can handle it. Not HOPE!!, we can handle the situation. So for us, this is about knowing if we have enough TOOLS, be it money, contacts, friends, and family to handle a situations that can, and will come up.
Not different! There are many women that have to deal with that, especially with no partner in the family.
To try to BLEND this in with Totalitarianism by men and your need to have autonomy is PURE BULL SHYT!!. THIS IS ABOUT BLACK MEN and women, not boys and GIRLS, in womens bodys!!!!..
Dolphinfan, NO ONE wants to be controlled. Men seem to think that a woman has to be happy when HE makes all of the decisions and that the woman follow like a puppy dog. The so-called leader doesn't always have the answer he must talk with the manager and the manager is her. I think men take the "Woman are supposed to do what men say" thing out of context. He said women obey your husbands... but to complete that... Husbands LOVE your wives both of you will be blessed for doing what you are told. You serve each other in the things you excel at. There is a degree of SERVITUDE for both not just the woman. This is not as night and day as you want to believe.
Now to the JUICY stuff. I am a man, like you PROBABLY never met before. When i say I gonna do something, I'm gonna do it!!!!! My bills were THREE MONTHS BEHIND, NOT A MONTH!!! and were not going to just argued over, they where going to be SHUT OFF!! NO power, NO PHONE ,NO LIGHTS!!.
In that respect you are not too different from a man that takes up his responsibility. There is nothing wrong with that.
NOw I don't know what it's like in Tenessee!! maybe yall still have out houses and beat on trees and have cookouts every night, But in New Jersey, you have to have, POWER, PHONE, LIGHTS, If the BIOTCH couldn't or would pay them, she should have been the WOMAN, I thought she was ( Brother Bs POINT) and been HONEST about her ability to pay what she said she could pay!!!.
Born and raised in the north... am NOT impressed. Niggaz in Tennessee, Jersey, New York, DC put their pants on one leg at a time, and turn that light on when it's dark, if that bill is paid. The north receives things faster than the south they didn't invent everything. There are stupid people in the north and stupid people the south. Niggaz are the same everywhere only difference is the name on welcome board crossing the state line.
I took in her kids, fed them, clothe them, love them!!!!!!!! i did not throw them into the COLD!!!!!! I had them DELIVERED to there GRAND MOTHERS HOUSE!!!!, and then , with the QUICK-NESS, there mother soon afterwards!!!!!!. The fact that I could and would do this, doe not mean, I'm, any less of a man , then there FATHER!!!!!!!, who couldn't or would do CRAP for them!!!.
Some people have the ability to act when confronted with something that doesn't agree with them and you happen to be one of those people, as long as you are right in what you do.
I believe she came from a long LINE of BLACK WOMEN, who feel, that through sex, AND A PRETTY SMILE!!! AND YES CHURCH!!!! she could MANIPULATE a brother, UNFORTUNATELY, she was dealing WITH A REAL BLACK MAN!!!! and thats the difference between me and whomever she had dealt with before!.... THE DOLPHIN FAN, DON'T PLAY THAT!!! ................PERIOD.
You aren't the only one that has ISSUES that irritate the f--- outta you. Oh I see... you believe all women are the same and as much as you may deny YOU have issues. I see it in your posts. I have issues from experiences also but issues don't apply to everyone you meet. It took me a minute to understand that all men are NOT the same as you think women are. When you see a church going sista you see red. If she does anything you deem out of order you are all over it trying to squash her because you are afraid of being squashed. You can't win every battle you set out on. We understand that you are a man.
IF she had some type of financial problems, she should have discuss them wiotrh me, so I, and notice I said *I* could decide on whether or not it was worth it. She had a job!! and a good man (me) and should have at least trusted me. To at least hear her out!!! but like most of YOU. You made the disicion, for me.
I ain't defending that, in fact personally experienced it and you know the door swings both ways.
Can you Imagine comming home and finding out, you have no lights, phone, gas!!!!!! WTF!! and there was NO reason, whats so ever, for them to be OUT!!!.
So you can drop the cold heart crap.REAL Black men don't play that!!
I've been in the dark not the threat of no power... full blown in it, candles, the works. I understand the heat of the moment when you see that bill... especially if duplicity was involved. Yeah, it's a bitch. But I gotta get up and go on cuz the next day is coming.
By the way, a few years later and this is TRUE, she said i was the first real man, she ever met.
I have not problem denying myself, to help others( i like), but you must be up front with me.
Life is about learning isn't it?
I have to go, (Thunderstorms) But i will be back!!!
The fact that it is from a show brings it out to the forefront even better...
If you NEGROETTES!!! want HONESTY, in a relationship, you must be HONEST COMMMING in TO IT, and leave ALL baggage at the DOOR!!.
No one mentioned ANYTHING about being dishonest. We talked about having an account that homeboy doesn't necessarily have to know the freakin balance of! Women do not corner the market on baggage.
His points, If you are telling us to be up front!!! are VALID one's, why can't YOU be up front!!!.
I am not knocking being honest.
I have no problem with any woman of mind having her own shit, for whatever reason!!!!!!!!!!!. but when you feel you have to hide stuff from your mate, and it's not going to enhance the relationship!!!..............Lets get real. And we were TALKING about RESPONSIBILITIES, along with the HIDING, of money. If you can not afford to pay a certain amount for bills, say something early on, so that we, THE MEN, can adapt!!!!!! we might get mad, but if there is real love there, we will ADAPT!!!.
Why should you know something that is not going to enhance the relationship... what do you want? A blow by blow account of the woman's day? If something is happening yes, communication is VERY key. I do it all the time... Hey honey, I don't have enough money to pay can you help? That's all it takes.
This is really about RENEGING!! on a PROMISE!!!! Made. Not whether you can keep money on the side.
Let's keep perspective here... the promise has been made to love, honor and cherish... not to be interrogated about how I handle my life. When I step out of the door I should be trusted enough to handle my business especially, if I've not given you any reason not to. Yes, I am a grown woman and a grown man should not interrogate me because of his insecurities. If I have a problem you would know about it. It is NOT necessary for you to know whether Bob said HI to me or not. A blow by blow of my day you would not get.
Men like to know, that if a issue should come up!!, HE/WE can handle it. Not HOPE!!, we can handle the situation. So for us, this is about knowing if we have enough TOOLS, be it money, contacts, friends, and family to handle a situations that can, and will come up.
Not different! There are many women that have to deal with that, especially with no partner in the family.
To try to BLEND this in with Totalitarianism by men and your need to have autonomy is PURE BULL SHYT!!. THIS IS ABOUT BLACK MEN and women, not boys and GIRLS, in womens bodys!!!!..
Dolphinfan, NO ONE wants to be controlled. Men seem to think that a woman has to be happy when HE makes all of the decisions and that the woman follow like a puppy dog. The so-called leader doesn't always have the answer he must talk with the manager and the manager is her. I think men take the "Woman are supposed to do what men say" thing out of context. He said women obey your husbands... but to complete that... Husbands LOVE your wives both of you will be blessed for doing what you are told. You serve each other in the things you excel at. There is a degree of SERVITUDE for both not just the woman. This is not as night and day as you want to believe.
Now to the JUICY stuff. I am a man, like you PROBABLY never met before. When i say I gonna do something, I'm gonna do it!!!!! My bills were THREE MONTHS BEHIND, NOT A MONTH!!! and were not going to just argued over, they where going to be SHUT OFF!! NO power, NO PHONE ,NO LIGHTS!!.
In that respect you are not too different from a man that takes up his responsibility. There is nothing wrong with that.
NOw I don't know what it's like in Tenessee!! maybe yall still have out houses and beat on trees and have cookouts every night, But in New Jersey, you have to have, POWER, PHONE, LIGHTS, If the BIOTCH couldn't or would pay them, she should have been the WOMAN, I thought she was ( Brother Bs POINT) and been HONEST about her ability to pay what she said she could pay!!!.
Born and raised in the north... am NOT impressed. Niggaz in Tennessee, Jersey, New York, DC put their pants on one leg at a time, and turn that light on when it's dark, if that bill is paid. The north receives things faster than the south they didn't invent everything. There are stupid people in the north and stupid people the south. Niggaz are the same everywhere only difference is the name on welcome board crossing the state line.
I took in her kids, fed them, clothe them, love them!!!!!!!! i did not throw them into the COLD!!!!!! I had them DELIVERED to there GRAND MOTHERS HOUSE!!!!, and then , with the QUICK-NESS, there mother soon afterwards!!!!!!. The fact that I could and would do this, doe not mean, I'm, any less of a man , then there FATHER!!!!!!!, who couldn't or would do CRAP for them!!!.
Some people have the ability to act when confronted with something that doesn't agree with them and you happen to be one of those people, as long as you are right in what you do.
I believe she came from a long LINE of BLACK WOMEN, who feel, that through sex, AND A PRETTY SMILE!!! AND YES CHURCH!!!! she could MANIPULATE a brother, UNFORTUNATELY, she was dealing WITH A REAL BLACK MAN!!!! and thats the difference between me and whomever she had dealt with before!.... THE DOLPHIN FAN, DON'T PLAY THAT!!! ................PERIOD.
You aren't the only one that has ISSUES that irritate the f--- outta you. Oh I see... you believe all women are the same and as much as you may deny YOU have issues. I see it in your posts. I have issues from experiences also but issues don't apply to everyone you meet. It took me a minute to understand that all men are NOT the same as you think women are. When you see a church going sista you see red. If she does anything you deem out of order you are all over it trying to squash her because you are afraid of being squashed. You can't win every battle you set out on. We understand that you are a man.
IF she had some type of financial problems, she should have discuss them wiotrh me, so I, and notice I said *I* could decide on whether or not it was worth it. She had a job!! and a good man (me) and should have at least trusted me. To at least hear her out!!! but like most of YOU. You made the disicion, for me.
I ain't defending that, in fact personally experienced it and you know the door swings both ways.
Can you Imagine comming home and finding out, you have no lights, phone, gas!!!!!! WTF!! and there was NO reason, whats so ever, for them to be OUT!!!.
So you can drop the cold heart crap.REAL Black men don't play that!!
I've been in the dark not the threat of no power... full blown in it, candles, the works. I understand the heat of the moment when you see that bill... especially if duplicity was involved. Yeah, it's a bitch. But I gotta get up and go on cuz the next day is coming.
By the way, a few years later and this is TRUE, she said i was the first real man, she ever met.
I have not problem denying myself, to help others( i like), but you must be up front with me.
Life is about learning isn't it?
I have to go, (Thunderstorms) But i will be back!!!