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Post by lusciouslois on Aug 2, 2006 8:40:16 GMT -5
This sort of goes along with the "rebound relationships" post made earlier this week, but I wanna know something, especially from the men. Even if this doesnt apply to you, at least How and why is it that SOME men can date and/or live with one woman for years, possibly have a child or children by this women, NEVER marry her, break up with her, THEN within a year's time, date and MARRY somebody else? Was the former girlfriend not marriage material? What make "new girl" marriage material so soon?
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Post by pelicanguy on Aug 2, 2006 10:03:37 GMT -5
Why should he have married the first gal? Let's break it down:
* They played house (shacked up) * Had sex on the regular * Had a few kids
He basically got everything out of the relationship....without the ring.
What was that old saying: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
The new girl most likely set some ground rules for their relationship (like no sex before marriage or for a certain period of time, no shacking up, etc). In other words, she wasn't dealing with no b.s.
The first girl appears to be down for whatever and did whatever to keep him until he bailed.
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Sista Chi
B.E. Sergeant
There's No One Like Her
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Sista Chi on Aug 2, 2006 10:06:49 GMT -5
The regular one, he was just stringing her along until he found exactly what he was looking for.
He KNEW he didn't want her. She was close enough to want he wanted so he settled down with her, but not quite..he left the back door open by not marrying her.
He just bid his time until 'the one' he found that filled his every 'qualification'.
But meanwhile, he has done the OG woman a big disservice, not just to her heart, but to her livelihood.
A damn shame, most women don't know when their man or potential is holding out for their 'perfection' at their expense.
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Post by lusciouslois on Aug 2, 2006 10:25:11 GMT -5
The regular one, he was just stringing her along until he found exactly what he was looking for. He KNEW he didn't want her. She was close enough to want he wanted so he settled down with her, but not quite..he left the back door open by not marrying her. He just bid his time until 'the one' he found that filled his every 'qualification'. But meanwhile, he has done the OG woman a big disservice, not just to her heart, but to her livelihood. A damn shame, most women don't know when their man or potential is holding out for their 'perfection' at their expense. OUCH, SISTER CHI! but thank you for that feedback you, too, BrotherB
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Post by dolphinfan on Aug 2, 2006 18:41:40 GMT -5
SIT DOWN LOIS. I', gonna tell the truth, and nothing but the truth!!!. So sit down and read this!!!! i got this from a women, in my younger days, when i thought i was the shit!!!!!! She told me this; and it applys to women too. Some men are made for lovin, and others for husbands!!! the same could be applied to women!!! SOme women keep great homes, but like men, can't handle an ADULT relationship. It always has to be about what people told them it would be like. Not the reality. I know some will say, why by the cow, when the milk is free? I say buy the dayum thing and sell it for a profit. And thats what your friend or example did. When something no longer has value in one area, but in others, you sit back, and take an account, on the values, you need in a relationship. When it no longer, has any value, you sell it or replace it. Your friends, friend, or example, had no choice, in order to move on, he had to pay a cost, MARRIAGE, because the NEW owner of the SACRED COW, said so!! or it wouldn't be a relationship. Are you still sitting down, and get your hands off your hips!! I'm just telling it like it is. Everybody on this board, who has dated, and been in a relationship!!!!, has been the cow, and or the drinker of it's milk!!!, PERIOD!!!. The real question is, what have you learned, from this DUEL STANDARD, and how , have you applied ,what you learn. I mean lets , face it, Some COWS, you just don't want to own, but don't mind being around, because the benefits outway, the negatives. Others, you don't mind being the cows FARMER BROWN!!! I hope I made myself clear, you may stand up and leave!!!, and don't look back, the cow could be following MOOO
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Post by lusciouslois on Aug 3, 2006 8:18:13 GMT -5
SIT DOWN LOIS. I', gonna tell the truth, and nothing but the truth!!!. So sit down and read this!!!! i got this from a women, in my younger days, when i thought i was the shit!!!!!! She told me this; and it applys to women too. Some men are made for lovin, and others for husbands!!! the same could be applied to women!!! SOme women keep great homes, but like men, can't handle an ADULT relationship. It always has to be about what people told them it would be like. Not the reality. I know some will say, why by the cow, when the milk is free? I say buy the dayum thing and sell it for a profit. And thats what your friend or example did. When something no longer has value in one area, but in others, you sit back, and take an account, on the values, you need in a relationship. When it no longer, has any value, you sell it or replace it. Your friends, friend, or example, had no choice, in order to move on, he had to pay a cost, MARRIAGE, because the NEW owner of the SACRED COW, said so!! or it wouldn't be a relationship. Are you still sitting down, and get your hands off your hips!! I'm just telling it like it is. Everybody on this board, who has dated, and been in a relationship!!!!, has been the cow, and or the drinker of it's milk!!!, PERIOD!!!. The real question is, what have you learned, from this DUEL STANDARD, and how , have you applied ,what you learn. I mean lets , face it, Some COWS, you just don't want to own, but don't mind being around, because the benefits outway, the negatives. Others, you don't mind being the cows FARMER BROWN!!! I hope I made myself clear, you may stand up and leave!!!, and don't look back, the cow could be following MOOO You kinda bossy there, aren't ya, Dolphin? no my hands arent on my hips and I aint rolling my eyes or popping my neck. *Don't you have a salad or something to prepare for MsBlaque or something?* ;D anyway, I really do appreciate your input and feedback. ;D I see though that I should have told you that this was NOT any of my friends, but I have seen this happen with coworkers and fellow church members My youngest child's father claimed he wanted to get married but when he was ready I wasnt and when I thought he was ready he wasnt and as time and problems went on, we split up. FUNNY though, the chick he left me for, he has been with her for years now, and has NOT married her. *looks around for a cow*
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Post by pelicanguy on Aug 4, 2006 13:44:05 GMT -5
One more thing....what you described isn't a rebound marriage.
You have to get out of a marriage and get to another marriage for that to happen.
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Post by lusciouslois on Aug 4, 2006 13:54:54 GMT -5
One more thing....what you described isn't a rebound marriage. You have to get out of a marriage and get to another marriage for that to happen. Stop being so technical Note the quotation marks around "rebound."
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Post by Blaque on Aug 4, 2006 14:42:16 GMT -5
The regular one, he was just stringing her along until he found exactly what he was looking for. I agree Sister Chi. Usually, a man will stay with a woman he knows he doesn't really want until he find someone better.
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