sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Nov 4, 2006 14:49:10 GMT -5
Dolphin, my point was not to tell the men to take complete control of a woman's body for you don't have that control to take. My point IS though do YOU trust a woman enough to take that chance when in fact you don't want to procreate? If you think women are such liars why are you putting your trust into a situation that will change your life? Women ALWAYS have that chance of having a baby WHENEVER they have sex, that is a given. I don't understand why men feel that they should only have to be in on the "good time" of sex and never the consequences, it does take two. Why on earth would a man WANT to have 10 baby mamas, is THAT a cool thing? So you would rather get mad at a woman that didn't practice contraception, when in fact you could have done something on your end for YOUR peace of mind?
If you don't trust certain women, why would you tie your life with her forever? I am trying to make sense of the reason why men want to get mad at women that don't use contraception as if she MADE you lay with her without it? When in fact most of the time it is probably his decision not use it. The only thing I can think of is... nothing shall get in the way of the feel good.
IS that good enough?
Y'all don't hear me tho'.
It's too reasonable.
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Post by dolphinfan on Nov 4, 2006 16:17:57 GMT -5
Dolphin, my point was not to tell the men to take complete control of a woman's body for you don't have that control to take. My point IS though do YOU trust a woman enough to take that chance when in fact you don't want to procreate? If you think women are such liars why are you putting your trust into a situation that will change your life? Women ALWAYS have that chance of having a baby WHENEVER they have sex, that is a given. I don't understand why men feel that they should only have to be in on the "good time" of sex and never the consequences, it does take two. Why on earth would a man WANT to have 10 baby mamas, is THAT a cool thing? So you would rather get mad at a woman that didn't practice contraception, when in fact you could have done something on your end for YOUR peace of mind? If you don't trust certain women, why would you tie your life with her forever? I am trying to make sense of the reason why men want to get mad at women that don't use contraception as if she MADE you lay with her without it? When in fact most of the time it is probably his decision not use it. The only thing I can think of is... nothing shall get in the way of the feel good. IS that good enough? Y'all don't hear me tho'. It's too reasonable. My question was about Both people taking Charge as appose to just one!! baby's do happen, but at some point, if you wanna ride, both people have to UNDERSTAND the rules. BOTH!!! I gave an example of some very smart women who believed it was the mans part to protect them. As for women being liars. I said some!!! not all. Nor am I some inept man, who can't figure out, when somebody's lying too me. I have had some great relationships, in my past, some very good. but I wasn't ready for them!!! BUT I have had some , very bad one's too. I'm not crippled by none of them, good or bad, nor to do I have a fear of a relationship, I just don't meet the myriad of black women, that you say, have* THAT CHARACTER* that I and most black men deserve!!! be they in the church or not. My truth, may not be your truth, but it is the truth, just like women saying that men are dogs, there is truth to that!!!!, but the DEVIL is in the details, of WHOM they CHOOSE ,which is another issue all together. Maybe just maybe, we are wearing glasses, that only see what we want to see. But if you feel in a none rape situation, that because of future considerations, by men, we should, secretly take control, instead of both people being on the same page, I disagree ho harderly. I have no problem with any women being sexually active, period for any reason what so ever. But I hate it when women makes it seem like it's ENTIRELY the mans fault, that anything that COULD go wrong, is his fault. Rubbers break, dieases can happen, and babys are born. My point is, I want more openly shared responsibility. Not covert responsibility, were the man seem to have the totality of the blame. And I hear all your points, but I don't really think, your hearing MINES!!
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Post by lusciouslois on Nov 6, 2006 10:20:26 GMT -5
Sweetpie, believe it or not (and I WILL NEVER understand WHY) but there are some males, old and young, that seem to think it is a sign of manhood to have a bunch of kids by a bunch of women/females. Then when said female ends up pregnant, they want to ask her, "Is it mine?" Same said male will make comments about shows like "Maury/I dont know who my babydaddy is," but excuse me, you are guilty of the same behavior(s). BUT I have also heard some of the same men complain about a woman "trapping them." If a woman or girl is of childrearing age, I think BOTH should bear some kind of responsibility for birth control. Yeah condoms break sometimes but at least a man can say he tried to do something about birth control rather than take a chance she wont become pregnant or get mad when she says she is on the pill and forgot to take one or wasnt on the Pill to begin with.
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Post by Blaque on Nov 6, 2006 14:24:12 GMT -5
Dolphinfan, in your original post you wrote: “Not GAY answers,* it's should be both of you”And now you are writing: My question was about Both people taking Charge as appose to just one!! Baby, do you drink? The bottom line is that both people should take responsibility for protecting themselves and the other person. If a woman gets pregnant she can't blame it on the man AND the man can't blame it on the woman. Even if a woman is on the pill, that's not reason enough to NOT use a condom. Like I said, you have to protect yourself. Period!
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Post by dolphinfan on Nov 6, 2006 18:05:42 GMT -5
Dolphinfan, in your original post you wrote: “Not GAY answers,* it's should be both of you”And now you are writing: My question was about Both people taking Charge as appose to just one!! Baby, do you drink? The bottom line is that both people should take responsibility for protecting themselves and the other person. If a woman gets pregnant she can't blame it on the man AND the man can't blame it on the woman. Even if a woman is on the pill, that's not reason enough to NOT use a condom. Like I said, you have to protect yourself. Period! *The GAY* answers, was meant for the men, who sometimes say things just to appease women. I don't, in this case!!! if you are gonna have sex, Both people have to step up to the plate. Example, If i had sex with a women on this board, for whatever reason, I Bring the rubbers, but during our ruff housing , it breaks and I cum. She starts to cry, i'm not saying I shouldn't of, ask her she was on the pill, BUT I would like to think, other then medical reasons, she was on it!!!! and should take some of the responcibility. A lot of women wait until after the fact, then , QUICKLY slide over to the person or persons, who side with her. Man gets all the blame, and the women hears* I hate men because, they always cutting and running after the fact. And I don't drink anymore stop aweek after my dad died.
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Post by Blaque on Nov 6, 2006 22:09:24 GMT -5
I'm glad you stopped drinking, dear.
I'll address the rest of this post in the a.m.
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Sista Chi
B.E. Sergeant
There's No One Like Her
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Sista Chi on Dec 6, 2006 11:27:43 GMT -5
Example, If i had sex with a women on this board, for whatever reason, I Bring the rubbers, but during our ruff housing , it breaks and I cum. She starts to cry, i'm not saying I shouldn't of, ask her she was on the pill, BUT I would like to think, other then medical reasons, she was on it!!!! and should take some of the responcibility. A lot of women wait until after the fact, then , QUICKLY slide over to the person or persons, who side with her. Man gets all the blame, and the women hears* I hate men because, they always cutting and running after the fact.. WTF??? Dolphin Fan... You would LIKE to think that she is on birth control. HELL to the NAW. lol. There are MANY of women that choose not to f*ck up their bodies with chemicals. There are MANY of women that CANNOT take BCpills, patches, etc. There are MANY of women, that may forget to take a pill, etc. ESPECIALLY if you come rolling up on them for a one night stand, f*uck in the hay. You are GAMBLING with your 'freedom' on that 'I would LIKE to think.' This is NOT all about you and your world and would you want think and how everything is supposed to be where you want it. It doesn't WORK like that. Shoot, if it did, I would be the FIRST Quacker in line, LOLOLOL. If you took the time to let some Sistas on this board KNOW that you planned to bring your bucket of condoms to have sex with them and told them only women on strict birth control pills qualify, they would have the chance to say, "oh well, I'm not on any BC" But if they so happen to LIE because they want the D.I.C.K. that BAD, and choose not to divulge that because they feel they don't know you like that or y'all didn't have a chance to discuss it the night before, rofl, which is how a lot of impromptu CASUAL SEX mentality is, you are to make sure your end is TIGHT and PRAY that she doesn't get pregnant.. But you are right, condoms breaking, women, shady, etc. But you know what? You can't even get mad. Why? Because THERE ARE NO GARANTEES. You want garantees? Have sex with, for and by yourself.You KEEP laying down under any circumstances you are BOUND to have unwanted drama to develop. The odds will build up against you. Peace.
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Post by Blaque on Dec 6, 2006 16:12:49 GMT -5
Damn Chi,
You broke it down, didn't you?
You are so right, though. The bottom line is that there are no guarantees. If you have sex, even if you are being careful, the possibility exists for things to happen that you don't want to happen.
Men and women should be equally responsible for taking precautions and they should NEVER assume that the other person will take care of preventing unwanted pregnancies.
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Post by lusciouslois on Dec 6, 2006 16:31:08 GMT -5
Dolphin, I love ya, man but I must say something to Chi and Blaque. Ladies....I will send you two a memo that states that only women are responsible for preventing pregnancies and if we dont, it is our fault and we decieved the man. Carry on
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Post by Blaque on Dec 6, 2006 17:18:38 GMT -5
Yeah, some men do believe that it's the woman's responsibility.
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Post by pelicanguy on Dec 6, 2006 19:31:19 GMT -5
I've always felt it takes two to make a baby, therefore both share responsibility when it comes to protecting themselves. STDs and AIDS/HIV are rampant out there, so men should always have condoms on hand when getting down to the nitty gritty.
If for some odd reason a guy doesn't have any on hand, that woman better have a stash of condoms on hand for him. Otherwise, neither him nor her ain't got a darn thing to say when she gets pregnant or he/she catches and STD.
There's no excuse for him or her.
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Post by dolphinfan on Dec 6, 2006 20:32:06 GMT -5
Example, If i had sex with a women on this board, for whatever reason, I Bring the rubbers, but during our ruff housing , it breaks and I cum. She starts to cry, i'm not saying I shouldn't of, ask her she was on the pill, BUT I would like to think, other then medical reasons, she was on it!!!! and should take some of the responsibility. A lot of women wait until after the fact, then , QUICKLY slide over to the person or persons, who side with her. Man gets all the blame, and the women hears* I hate men because, they always cutting and running after the fact.. WTF??? Dolphin Fan... You would LIKE to think that she is on birth control. HELL to the NAW. lol. There are MANY of women that choose not to f*ck up their bodies with chemicals. There are MANY of women that CANNOT take BCpills, patches, etc. There are MANY of women, that may forget to take a pill, etc. ESPECIALLY if you come rolling up on them for a one night stand, f*uck in the hay. You are GAMBLING with your 'freedom' on that 'I would LIKE to think.' This is NOT all about you and your world and would you want think and how everything is supposed to be where you want it. It doesn't WORK like that. Shoot, if it did, I would be the FIRST Quacker in line, LOLOLOL. If you took the time to let some Sistas on this board KNOW that you planned to bring your bucket of condoms to have sex with them and told them only women on strict birth control pills qualify, they would have the chance to say, "oh well, I'm not on any BC" But if they so happen to LIE because they want the D.I.C.K. that BAD, and choose not to divulge that because they feel they don't know you like that or y'all didn't have a chance to discuss it the night before, rofl, which is how a lot of impromptu CASUAL SEX mentality is, you are to make sure your end is TIGHT and PRAY that she doesn't get pregnant.. But you are right, condoms breaking, women, shady, etc. But you know what? You can't even get mad. Why? Because THERE ARE NO GARANTEES. You want garantees? Have sex with, for and by yourself.You KEEP laying down under any circumstances you are BOUND to have unwanted drama to develop. The odds will build up against you. Peace. Let me ADDRESS you SISTA Chi, One, this ain't no dress down, if you wanna play adult games, you MUST have an ADULT, mind set.!!!! So the crap you are saying means nothing to me. TWO; If you cannot take the pill, and don't stand up for you self, by letting, the man know this before hand. REGARDLESS, if i use rubbers or not, is and was MY POINT. I don't know why YA LL can't see this. Never at any point, in my Post, did i say, it's only the women fault!!! and clarified my points. I tell it like it is. As a man, if I want to address sex, for any reason, it's because I CAN, and have afforded myself that. Thats why I'm not one of the men YA LL complain about. Nor do you GIVE A BROTHER Kudos, for at least attempting to be UP-FRONT. Which most women, on this Board ,complain about. I gave an EXAMPLE, of what could happen, during any sexual encounter, if TWO people, ain't careful. I did not intend it to be some FACTUAL account, just an example. I can laugh and take it like the best, and i know to wards the end, you were joking (a little). but wanted to make a anti-sex statement. it didn't work. I been , and continue to be sexually active. To do this and be as safe as possible, (disease and baby's FREE) you have to be up front with your partner. If a GROWN azz women CAN't or will not say, she is or is not on the pill, or whatever she may do to keep herself SAFE. She's the problem. I use rubber, but every know and then, shyt happens, thats life. When I'm dealing with a women, I ASK, because, I want to protect myself, and my finances. Even if she is on the PILL, I still use a rubber!!!!!. I feel other then abstinence, thats the best way, to keep unwanted baby's away. If you or any other women on this board feels, that this approach to sex, is weak in anyway. I FEEL FOR YOU. My brother is the ULTIMATE PLAYER, when he got out of Jail, he had back child support to Pay. He got a Job, and was making about 500, before taxes, he would net maybe 90. Got so bad, he thought , he'd play stick up kid, one more time, to get ahead of the game. Well he's back in jail. I told him the same thing, and got similar responses. This is what he told me. I did it, because i work all the time, and have no MONEY. now from ya ll points of view, thats tuff on him!!! from my point of view, if your a man and a PLAYER, you protect, alll your assets, the now and FUTURE ONE's. I told him and he didn't listen, and a bad attitude, later, he's in jail. You know, one of those men ya ll talk about who had everything going for him but still found away to SCREW UP. PLEEZE, don't take the way I approach something as a weakness. I see what i see, and call it like i see, it. Just like Ya ll do. I'm not just talking to you, I talking to SWEETPIE, you and Lois and Msblaque. Yall can tear apart my statements all you want, but the truth is the truth. IF YOU CAN'T STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, YOU AIN'T SHYT. And this brother certainly can. Be sure, I'm not ATTACKING YOU, I'm attacking that weak azz statements, that keep women BABY LADEN, and complaining ALL MEN are not RESPONSIBLE and DON'T TALK!!!!!!!!!!
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Sista Chi
B.E. Sergeant
There's No One Like Her
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Sista Chi on Dec 6, 2006 22:47:20 GMT -5
Un-huh. You can keep playing word games all you want about not attacking me, with the ' you wanna play games, you must have an adult mindset' mess, but just my 'weak ass statements'.
I'm sorry your feelings got hurt, but Baby, I am no where near being wet behind the ears and you 'attacking' my 'weak' ass points, don't make them any less valid and true.
But hey, it don't make me no never mind.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Dec 6, 2006 23:03:08 GMT -5
My one and only point is truly this... Men have a myriad of chances and choices to have children. Women also up to a certain point. Men keep the species going, women make sure they get here but you need more women in order to do this. Men have sexual appetites, women do too, but at some point women have to slow down because of the various things that happen to her body. Men don't they can carry on as long as Mr. Happy let's them. Now, I don't suppose a man wants to make a family with ALL of the women Mr. Happy has wanted to have a party with am I correct? Now imagine this... a man thinking outside of wanting to screw anything that has a skirt. He actually wants to at one point in his life have a family with kids that have the SAME father and are compartmentalized in one unit with one woman. Do they think of life in this way? Of course! You simple heifer you say! My serious question to you is... Why don't men DO this? Why don't men ensure that their lives go in this manner? Why don't men take on the ungodly notion of birth control MORE than they do? Instead what they do is get mad then go screw someone else now two are pregnant at the same time! Wait hold up! That didn't go right! I'll make them get an abortion! What! They won't! I know I'll push one down the stairs and I'll shoot the other! Ooooh wee! Look at DAT skirt! I got to go talk to her... next thing you know he doggin' her cuz she is #3. This chain of events keeps going on and on with no thought of his future. Now all of these ladies of course, depending upon his relationship with each of them is at different stages of obtaining monies. Okay now his check (whenever he is working ) is being attacked... uh, I mean attached for support. I know what you are gonna say! The reason why we as men do not practice birth control to have more control of our lives is: MEN can't get pregnant! Is that the best you can do? Go on! Tell me! Men in general only care about one thing... The act of sex... He has no one else to blame...
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Post by Blaque on Dec 7, 2006 9:47:34 GMT -5
I'm going to say this and then I'm leaving it alone because some people seem to be overly sensitive. The way this post orginated in the Men's Room came across with a lot of anger. I'm not saying Dolphinfan was angry, that's just the way I perceived it when I read it. "I have no problem with women having sex, out side of marriage. But outside of rape, how many baby's can be blamed on the Black man...........alone."The answer: NONE OF THEM. It is up to BOTH THE MAN AND THE WOMAN to prevent unwanted pregnancies. "I read in post about women who have had baby's ,by many men. But they never talk about there half of the equation. NEVER!!!!!!!"Not on this board. I know you haven't seen it on this board. Address it where you read it. "Overtime, i have sex, i have at least a rubber on. PERIOD, have I had sex without one, YES, and it happens. BUT, I'm responsible enough, to make sure the next time it happens, I don't run out. But for the most part, the women I'm with are on the pill, or other type of conception."
In my book, that makes you just as irresponsible as the women you are trying to put down. So what if you think the women you are with may be on the pill, unless you are there when they take it every day, you have no way of knowing. Besides, an unwanted child should be the least of your worries. I guess you don't care about STDs.
"why are women ALLOWED to make mistake after mistake, and just get a pat on the back. And why are men being blamed for a women, not setting rules for engagement.(SEX)"Again, if a woman has multiple children, it's not just her mistake, it's the MAN AND THE WOMAN. "Now i know it's up to BOTH people to make sure there end of the protection game is taken care of, BUT, thats the conciliatory answer, I want to hear the truth from men. Not GAY answers,* it's should be both of you* HEEEEEY ."You want the truth? The truth is that it's the MAN AND THE WOMAN. (if I say it enough times maybe it will get through) Now, have all the hissy fits that you want, I'm done with this ridicolous topic. For someone who supposedly have no children, Dolphinfan, you are awfully emotional about this. REMEMBER: IT'S THE MAN AND WOMAN'S RESPONSIBILITY TO PREVENT UNWANTED PREGNANCIES!!!
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