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Post by Blaque on Nov 6, 2006 15:38:45 GMT -5
We know what the many problems are between Black men and Black women, but what are the solutions?
Instead of infighting and tearing each other down, what can we do to heal and build each other up?
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Post by lusciouslois on Nov 6, 2006 15:55:57 GMT -5
I guess we need to learn to listen to each other. Even if we dont agree on some points, at least listen to the others points of view A lot of us give our opinions based on what we have experienced and those experiences sometimes make us what we are or have become and that is a hard wall to tear down. learning to trust would be a good starting place but I dont trust easily and have learned that over the years
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Post by Blaque on Nov 6, 2006 17:39:08 GMT -5
I agree. Listening/Hearing and trust are very important to repair the disconnect between Black men and Black women.
Also, I am a believer of the saying that words have power. If all we ever focus on are the negatives, we will give more power to the negatives. Words give out energy and a message which creates a reaction in others. Whatever you say to someone else will produce some kind of an effect in that person. When I am involved with a man, I try to accentuate the positive, so to speak. I give lots of compliments because I know the rest of the world is trying to tear down our Black men.
Reaction to our words often returns to us often in a multiplied form. If a black woman speaks negatively towards a Black man, he will probably speak negatively towards her with more intensity.
I think we have to be more conscious of our thoughts and words that we use toward each other. We have to celebrate what is positive about our Kings and Queens and focus less on the negative things.
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Post by dolphinfan on Nov 6, 2006 17:51:01 GMT -5
I will say this. We have to first admit, that we are BRUTALLY, HARD on each other. WE Lie to cover up hurts We doGG, completely Innocent people out. We don't check ourselves. We try to keep up with the JONES.......TOO MUCH!! We burn, too many bridges!!!!! and FOR NOTHING!!! When we do try to talk, we act like if a fight doesn't ensue, it wasn't worth, being there. We have PSYCHOLOGICAL issues, that deal with self HATE, that cripples us to know end!!! GAWD doesn't belong just to us!!!, thats what we were taught. Love is a four letter word, ,so don't use it unless you mean it and know what it means. I could go on, but, i would need feed back to get to those thoughts, that I purposely, lock away, to get back to on another day.
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Post by pelicanguy on Nov 6, 2006 19:08:35 GMT -5
Black men and women need to first acknowledge that they have issues of their own to deal with before trying and tell someone else how to deal with theirs.
Acknowledge that neither of us are perfect.
Talk with each other and listen to one another without interruption.
Speak honestly and genuinely when engaged in discussion with each other. Say what's on your mind and in your heart, not what your girls and your boys say. You are your own person; why let someone else speak for you?
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Post by dolphinfan on Nov 6, 2006 19:44:34 GMT -5
Black men and women need to first acknowledge that they have issues of their own to deal with before trying and tell someone else how to deal with theirs. Acknowledge that neither of us are perfect. Talk with each other and listen to one another without interruption. Speak honestly and genuinely when engaged in discussion with each other. Say what's on your mind and in your heart, not what your girls and your boys say. You are your own person; why let someone else speak for you? AMEN
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Post by Blaque on Nov 6, 2006 19:57:44 GMT -5
Black men and women need to first acknowledge that they have issues of their own to deal with before trying and tell someone else how to deal with theirs. Acknowledge that neither of us are perfect. Talk with each other and listen to one another without interruption. Speak honestly and genuinely when engaged in discussion with each other. Say what's on your mind and in your heart, not what your girls and your boys say. You are your own person; why let someone else speak for you? I agree.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Nov 6, 2006 20:48:07 GMT -5
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Post by pelicanguy on Nov 7, 2006 0:12:17 GMT -5
What you hiding for sweetiepie? Speak up!
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Post by dolphinfan on Nov 7, 2006 6:29:13 GMT -5
What you hiding for sweetiepie? Speak up! I think she is confused because, like some women, we can have varying degrees of agreement, and disagreement on the same issues.(based on our experiences).
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sudan
B.E. Specialist
Posts: 414
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Post by sudan on Nov 8, 2006 3:45:58 GMT -5
Respect....Respect each other's differences and opinions. And don't try to raise somebody when they are ALL READY GROWN!!!!
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Post by Blaque on Nov 9, 2006 13:34:23 GMT -5
Also, realizing that two people can have differing opinions about the same subject. I don’t want anyone to try and change my mind, just respect my point of view.
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