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Post by Blaque on Nov 21, 2006 17:39:11 GMT -5
If you are in a relationship and everything is going fine. All your needs are being met. There may even be a child or children involved. How long would you stay before you demanded a marriage take place?
If two people are committed and happy, is there really any reason to get married. People walk out on marriages so even if it's official, there is no guarantee.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Nov 21, 2006 22:29:42 GMT -5
The consensus is probably no to not marry.
But I beg to differ, it depends upon why people get married in the first place. I don't think people hold on to the why. If love was involved and they don't work to keep it, it will fail. The presentation of divorce is too easy an escape route.
When my husband and I married we both felt different on our wedding day. It was like a connection was completed once we performed the ceremony and we had lived together 2 years before we got married. We discussed it, it wasn't me dropping hints or giving ultimatums in fact, it was his idea for me to come and be with him. He was ready to settle down before I was even though I had a child with him. It boils down to both needing to be ready and your reasoning needs to be sound, lord knows it gets tough.
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Sista Chi
B.E. Sergeant
There's No One Like Her
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Sista Chi on Nov 21, 2006 23:30:01 GMT -5
Hmmm, great questions. Let's see...
Everything is going beautifully....I want every benefit that comes to me including from our society of being with a a man. And that ladies and gentlemen includes marriage.
The title, the benefits, the respect, and seniority in the eyes of the court and God's Words over the average woman is a PERK that I feel I should have giving my all to a man that loves me, etc and he should WANT me to have that too and for HIMSELF.
Secondly, there are children involved, I believe in the Bible, and I want my kids to have his last name. They SHOULD have his last name in matrimony, not just writton on the birth certificate.
I would stay but 5 years. At the end of those five years and he hasn't said, 'I do' to me, I'm out.
Either way, whether you marry or NOT there is no garantee.....but I say there is an issue of more perks in the eyes of God and society that is to be had and that is purely what I base my advocation of marriage on.
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Post by pelicanguy on Nov 22, 2006 1:09:33 GMT -5
If the couple doesn't at least talk about wanting to be married, yet express a desire or dream that he/she would like to be married one day, then one should NOT expect them to eventually get married. Every one of us knows whether or not we would like to be married one day...and should let the other person know. No ultimatum or threat is needed to do so.
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Post by ifayomi on Dec 4, 2006 15:45:15 GMT -5
If love was involved and they don't work to keep it, it will fail.
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Post by Blaque on Dec 4, 2006 15:53:03 GMT -5
If love was involved and they don't work to keep it, it will fail. Right. So why marry and make things messy? I tend to believe that people should enjoy relationships while they are going good. But once a relationship has runs it's course...move on. But that's just me.
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Post by dolphinfan on Dec 18, 2006 17:20:41 GMT -5
If you are in a relationship and everything is going fine. All your needs are being met. There may even be a child or children involved. How long would you stay before you demanded a marriage take place? If two people are committed and happy, is there really any reason to get married. People walk out on marriages so even if it's official, there is no guarantee. I believe, it's all about how you were brought up. I met a couple of women(during my lifetime) I would have married, had we stayed together long enough. I think the real question is, whats too long to be together, and not at least!!!!!!! get married? Faith and all of theses things come into play. Most men don't like time tables. For most women , they have an internal clock!!! and when it goes OFF, that means it's time. Men don't like that.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Dec 25, 2006 22:59:44 GMT -5
If you marry for the wrong reasons getting a divorce is messy. Bottomline do not marry if both of your reasonings are not on firm base. Don't get married if there are issues that need to be resolved. Don't get married you just because you want to, or not entirely trust your mate. There are a myriad of reasons not to but for some reasons we do. There are always subtle hints as to what your mate would be like all during your courtship. Most of the time we don't listen to them or think that they are cute in the honeymoon stage. I believe couples are not realistic that is what makes it messy.
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