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Post by ifayomi on Dec 2, 2006 13:19:48 GMT -5
I peeked into the Womens board I saw something about salary. So here is my question How many Women on this board have college degrees and or education
My reason in asking this is I believe it was Ms Blaque who said she lost a job once and was out everyday filing application out. Were you college matl, hence making opportunities more availible. Ok ok I am a Black man descendant of enslaved Africans born raised in Chicago the inner city, grew up hard, when I was 14 moved with my mom had not been with her since I was 18months old, any in that year I was turned out and I do mean turned out was introduced to drugs alchohol and wome, by the time I was 15 I was sleeping in the streets homeless etc garages abandoned cars etc. school had no revelance. I am not making excuses( at least I hope I am not) but I had to take care of myself, what I am saying I did not go to school finally got a ged at age 28, did not go to college didn't consider it, worked as a skilled and unskilled laboror all my life. I am working my own buisness now, but in this business it's either feast or famine sometimes is good more work than you can handle other times nothing to do at all, with the hispanic population and corporate greed which make the hispanic the laboror of choice, makes it difficult for brothers who have no education, so now again are you chances of getting work because of you college education better than that of many Black men who have been through the system, and believe me it is a system a mind screw . as you talk about work and a black mans salary does this at all come into your view. Again I hope I am not trying to make excuses but do you really understand the crack that Black men fall through unless they have proper guidance and direction Peac Osunkoya-Ifayomi
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Post by Blaque on Dec 2, 2006 13:36:42 GMT -5
Ifayomi,
I don't have a 4 year degree. But I do have an Associates Degree and some college so I guess that has helped. I guess I was speaking from personal experiences and I have just come across men who are complacent about their careers.
Let's say I met a man who was a janitor and let's say that he made less money than I did. If he worked in his profession for a number of years and showed some commitment to holding a job, I would not have a problem with him making less money.
What I do have a problem with is when men don't work as hard as I do and then ask for a hand out.
If I were married to you and you were establishing your business, I would have no problem taking on more financially while you pursued your dream.
But a lot of the men I meet are not pursuing a dream, they don't have physical limitations, they are just lazy. It's unacceptable.
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Post by dolphinfan on Dec 2, 2006 18:35:44 GMT -5
My problem with the whole senario, on who makes what is, THE GET BACK. I have dated many women who say What Msblaque says, and I'm not doubting her word. but the truth is this. (my point of view of course). A lot of Blaque women have chewed off more then they can handle, and when a black man is making money. They have this tendancy to TRY top make up for lost time. Now I don't mind helping out. But to hear a women say.** I hate cheap niggers after all I have done, for them already** and mind you, her ATTITUDE, has nothing to do with how I have treated her. But what she has done in the past for OTHER men. Is what pisses Black men off. I even hear women cry out, when they hear of other women, being dawged. Again I don't dought thee intent of what msblaque is saying, i'm just not seeing this.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Dec 3, 2006 1:17:24 GMT -5
Lemme put a face to it.
I think I see what she means... let me give a personal example. Old knucklehead was a top notch master carpenter. He could scan blue prints, he could build the damn whatever thing on his own. He was capable of leading a team. He did not have even a high school diploma, didn't bother to get a GED. So of course, he couldn't take the test be a certified carpenter that could have led to a forman position. He drifted from job to job but his main problem was that he couldn't get along with any of his bosses for very long, couldn't stand being told told what to do. Well, his credentials--- he didn't have any credentials WOULD HAVE SAID he was a good as he was. It was just like clockwork every 3 months or so he got fired, or quit or had some BS excuse for not going back. He was caught up in his own dilemma by being smart as, if not smarter than his bosses so they didn't get along. But check the kicker though... he would've had to go back to FIRST learn how to read. Yes folx! He couldn't read print! It wasn't until the latter part of the relationship that I had noticed. It's just something that you would assume everyone could do, well at least YOUR man!
I don't think she is speaking of a man that at least has something going on for himself. But a man that has experience and age and know how but cannot progress any farther, for one because he didn't go back to make sure that he COULD progress. His career would stay in a constant state of stagnancy. That is frustrating to him AND her because she is part of the fallout. No money, she's gotta pick up the extra burden, deal with his anger at himself and it can possibly turn domestic. Vicious babies vicious.
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Post by dolphinfan on Dec 3, 2006 14:14:26 GMT -5
Lemme put a face to it. I think I see what she means... let me give a personal example. Old knucklehead was a top notch master carpenter. He could scan blue prints, he could build the damn whatever thing on his own. He was capable of leading a team. He did not have even a high school diploma, didn't bother to get a GED. So of course, he couldn't take the test be a certified carpenter that could have led to a forman position. He drifted from job to job but his main problem was that he couldn't get along with any of his bosses for very long, couldn't stand being told told what to do. Well, his credentials--- he didn't have any credentials WOULD HAVE SAID he was a good as he was. It was just like clockwork every 3 months or so he got fired, or quit or had some BS excuse for not going back. He was caught up in his own dilemma by being smart as, if not smarter than his bosses so they didn't get along. But check the kicker though... he would've had to go back to FIRST learn how to read. Yes folx! He couldn't read print! It wasn't until the latter part of the relationship that I had noticed. It's just something that you would assume everyone could do, well at least YOUR man! I don't think she is speaking of a man that at least has something going on for himself. But a man that has experience and age and know how but cannot progress any farther, for one because he didn't go back to make sure that he COULD progress. His career would stay in a constant state of stagnancy. That is frustrating to him AND her because she is part of the fallout. No money, she's gotta pick up the extra burden, deal with his anger at himself and it can possibly turn domestic. Vicious babies vicious. To me thats more of a bad attitude, then anything else. and both sexes have that problem. I have seen were people who where smarter then there bosses, BUTT, they ask if they would get special training, or if they had some schooling done, would the get a raise, or be put in charge, of whatever they are doing. Many people have bad attitudes, that keep them from upgrading there life!!!. The real sad part is, some have mates, who allow them to continue to fail, until some crucil point in a relationship, when one or both, have had enough, because of the strees.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Dec 3, 2006 18:29:22 GMT -5
Yes, bad attitude, pride possible embarrassment but all in all he was the key to his failure. If you want something bad enough you have to go get it. But he seemed to set back and let his pride keep him out.
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Post by ifayomi on Dec 3, 2006 19:51:29 GMT -5
Dearest Sisters and Brothers of mine. Again I know this may sound as an excuse however that is not the intent, but perhaps many of you have had good or excellent upbringing (maybe not) however I pose to you something to ponder, we as a people have been psychologically affected by the trans atlantic slave trade no it or not. our psychies have been severly damaged, many of us really are disfunctional, and the symptoms of that vary, no hope, no ambition, drug and alchohol abuse, etc etc. What I am saying and not saying is there are many as you would say bad eggs but in reality some of the disfunction has to do with our damaged brain or though pattern on that has ben programmed into us since birth, something that programmed into our enslaveed Ancestors that has passed down for generation to generation, In other words some of us are debilitated to the point we cannot function some of us cannot keep a job, etc. this is something that has been inbrd so to speak , but as I speak I do know that there is also a solution a cure, that is knowing who we are as a people. Sounds idealistic yes but is true. Peace Osunkoya-Ifayomi
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sudan
B.E. Specialist
Posts: 414
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Post by sudan on Dec 3, 2006 20:56:38 GMT -5
....I agree with your Psycoanalysis ~ Ifayomi...I really do. I believe that not just your great grandparents eyes, nose,....and BIG BeHinds were the ONLY thang that was inherited. The pressure the body system had to tolerate...."The Mind" living under bondage is also inherited. I KNOW...I used to be married to an ALABAMA Man and his sons....Lawd...I luvs dem to death....but they got that Southern mentality deep, Deep, DEEP in their souls. It's in their spirit!!! They have a certain WAY...just like their Daddy...a certain WAY....that a Woman should be. Even tho' they got sense enough Not to exactly come out their mouths and say it...Their Daddy did. Well I was Reeaaal young and had Never gone through such. So I got crazy a long with him. I know better now, I could've gotten my butt killed!!! What I am trying to say....I know it may be difficult, And it is not just slavery ~ I must say, The Bible has did a whole lot in telling these Men that the righteous way is for The Woman to " look up to their man as God"....God loves Man more, Paul was a trip...no wonder he didn't want to see Jesus....anyway.....That attitude has got to go!! If we are ever going to be as ONE undivided Nation...The Men needs to KNOW in their hearts that they are wrong and simply ~ Change. Because Push comes to shove...We Woman can do , if we must, do bad by ourselves. No it is not the money...it is the attitude!! I ain't 'yo Momma either. You better call Tyrone!!!
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Post by Blaque on Dec 3, 2006 21:02:01 GMT -5
Because Push comes to shove...We Woman can do , if we must, do bad by ourselves. No it is not the money...it is the attitude!! I ain't 'yo Momma either. You better call Tyrone!!! [/i][/color][/quote] Amen sister.
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jazzlover
B.E. Sergeant First Class
It Takes Pressure to Make a Diamond
Posts: 3,912
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Post by jazzlover on Dec 4, 2006 5:12:39 GMT -5
Some women SAY they don't mind if a man makes less than them but eventually they lose respect if the man doesn't do better! I am not saying that is WRONG per se, but it is reality. When I was a Corrections Officer I made less than my wife, I would work overtime just to get decent paycheck, she complained about the CHECK before overtime, and then complained about the OVERTIME when I worked, this motivated me to go back to college!
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Post by lusciouslois on Dec 4, 2006 9:10:00 GMT -5
Some women SAY they don't mind if a man makes less than them but eventually they lose respect if the man doesn't do better! I am not saying that is WRONG per se, but it is reality. When I was a Corrections Officer I made less than my wife, I would work overtime just to get decent paycheck, she complained about the CHECK before overtime, and then complained about the OVERTIME when I worked, this motivated me to go back to college! well, that is her not all women I dont mind if a man makes less than I do either but let's be real here, folks. There are some men who make beaucoup bucks but they are POOR STEWARDS of their money. MsBlaque knows of one example of someone I know. There are men who make less than I (not that my salary is all that great) but they are able to pay their bills and help others if need be.
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Post by Blaque on Dec 4, 2006 17:12:29 GMT -5
You make a good point Lois. I guess it's not about how much a man makes, it's what he does with his money.
Let's forget about the men who aren't working at all. I'm talking about able bodies men who don't want to work for one reason or another.
If a man makes less than I do, but he goes to work every day, he pays his bills, etc - I don't have a problem with that.
But I want to stress that I've met SOME men who are just plain TRIFLING. There was this guy who called me from the detailing store and asked me to borrow $50 for a down payment on some rims. Um, why did he even go look at rims if he didn't have the money??? I'll tell you why, because some men expect hand outs.
That's really the point I was trying to make about money. If you are not my husband, and you do not have medical reasons why you can't support yourself, don't ask me for jack chit!
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Post by lusciouslois on Dec 4, 2006 17:31:45 GMT -5
say it again, MsB! *he was at a detailing shop and called you?* WTH??
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Dec 4, 2006 17:55:17 GMT -5
You make a good point Lois. I guess it's not about how much a man makes, it's what he does with his money. Let's forget about the men who aren't working at all. I'm talking about able bodies men who don't want to work for one reason or another. If a man makes less than I do, but he goes to work every day, he pays his bills, etc - I don't have a problem with that. But I want to stress that I've met SOME men who are just plain TRIFLING. There was this guy who called me from the detailing store and asked me to borrow $50 for a down payment on some rims. Um, why did he even go look at rims if he didn't have the money??? I'll tell you why, because some men expect hand outs. That's really the point I was trying to make about money. If you are not my husband, and you do not have medical reasons why you can't support yourself, don't ask me for jack chit! Fa real tho' I understand Ifayomi's point there is some ingrained tendencies that we possess. Many people don't even notice the negativity that they spew. The first thing out of their mouth is "I can't" or whatever.
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Post by Blaque on Dec 4, 2006 18:16:33 GMT -5
say it again, MsB! *he was at a detailing shop and called you?* WTH?? Girl yes, flossing in a big azz Suburban like he was a big baller and didn't have chit!!! Sweetpie, I see Ifayomi's point too. Some things are ingrained. And then again. Some men think that they can get over on women because they are "fine" and are use to women taking care of them. It varies.
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