jazzlover
B.E. Sergeant First Class
It Takes Pressure to Make a Diamond
Posts: 3,912
|
Post by jazzlover on Dec 28, 2006 7:41:10 GMT -5
When a man gives himself like Christ, a woman won't hesitate to be submissive, submission however doesn't mean ABUSE, God looks at men and women as equals, when the Bible speaks of a woman being the "weaker vessle" that speaks to her being like china, beautiful and fragile...NOT inferior.
|
|
|
Post by Blaque on Dec 28, 2006 14:16:42 GMT -5
Thanks Panther.
|
|
|
Post by darock on Dec 29, 2006 9:24:21 GMT -5
Countless times have I had to sit and hear women say "I don't need a man to help me with shyt. I got this. I got that. I can do bad by myself And my response to any woman who would spout this mess off to me, is to inform her that I can do GOOD all by mine.
|
|
|
Post by lusciouslois on Dec 30, 2006 9:27:45 GMT -5
double edged sword here I see no need like BB said (I agree with him?) that there is no need to say it right off the bat. Any man good or bad can see that for himself. SOME men like independant women so that way, the man wont feel like he "needs" to do a lot if anything for her. Chi, a woman doesnt always have or need a man to help with boxes, etc. Plenty of men in my neighborhood but I dont run to them for help cause most of the time they are doing for their families or not even at home when i might "need" one. Panther, SOME men like to feel needed but I find them to be far and few inbetween. After awhile, depending on the man, he gets tired of being "leaned on," especially financially, and start complaining about a woman being a golddigger. Then again, you have SOME men who will fall all over themselves doing for a woman. regardless of how she treats him
|
|
|
Post by lusciouslois on Dec 30, 2006 9:29:52 GMT -5
Anytime a woman - especially one I am interested in - says "I don't need a man" or "I can do bad by myself" I do my best to keep my distance from her. A lot of women have taken the word "independent" out of context. Unless you tell us otherwise, most men can assume you are on your own and are handling your business for the most part. Countless times have I had to sit and hear women say "I don't need a man to help me with shyt. I got this. I got that. I can do bad by myself." All of that kind of talk is a major turn-off to most men. Most women who are hollering out they're independent and "I don't need a man" are the same women you see going around whining "Why doesn't any guy want to holler at me?" BV and sweetpie summed it up very well. Men don't want to feel needed per se, we just want to know that we are valued and are seen as important to the relationship and not taken for granted. Trust me, when we feel we are taken for granted, we will start acting that way...and that's when all problems will start. BB, you/we got SOME men who are too blind to see that they are being taken for granted.
|
|
|
Post by darock on Dec 30, 2006 19:45:23 GMT -5
Anytime a woman - especially one I am interested in - says "I don't need a man" or "I can do bad by myself" I do my best to keep my distance from her. A lot of women have taken the word "independent" out of context. Unless you tell us otherwise, most men can assume you are on your own and are handling your business for the most part. Countless times have I had to sit and hear women say "I don't need a man to help me with shyt. I got this. I got that. I can do bad by myself." All of that kind of talk is a major turn-off to most men. Most women who are hollering out they're independent and "I don't need a man" are the same women you see going around whining "Why doesn't any guy want to holler at me?" BV and sweetpie summed it up very well. Men don't want to feel needed per se, we just want to know that we are valued and are seen as important to the relationship and not taken for granted. Trust me, when we feel we are taken for granted, we will start acting that way...and that's when all problems will start. BB, you/we got SOME men who are too blind to see that they are being taken for granted. And this may happen because we hear so much about how there are no good men out there, there's a "shortage," and if they're not married, that they're incarcerated/in jail/fags, etc, that when we get with a woman with the expectation of actually treating her with love and respect, that we get SURPRISED to find her not appreciating it/us!
|
|
|
Post by Blaque on Dec 30, 2006 20:37:08 GMT -5
I understand and respect what everyone is saying here. But let's not get it twisted. I am very proud of the fact that I can support myself and my family without help from a man. I will always be proud of that...there are some women who can't say that.
I am blessed! I don't have to look for a handout from a man, and I don't have to worry about shit getting cut off or having to go without all the time.
I'm not rich, but I am doing well for a single woman with no Bachelor's Degree.
Besides, if the fact that I run off at the mouth about not being needy is my worst flaw, then a brother should still be lucky to have me. I can think of some worse characteristics to have.
Being proud of my independence does not make me or women like me, bad women. It also doesn't mean that I can't appreciate a good man. Hell, IF I ever meet one, I'll appreciate the hell out of him. Because the truth of the matter is, it does get tiring when I have to be strong ALL the time. I would love to be able to surrender and submit to the right person. But the right person ain't in Virginia. If he is, I haven't met him in the last 35 years.
|
|
|
Post by dolphinfan on Dec 31, 2006 12:33:34 GMT -5
BB, you/we got SOME men who are too blind to see that they are being taken for granted. And this may happen because we hear so much about how there are no good men out there, there's a "shortage," and if they're not married, that they're incarcerated/in jail/fags, etc, that when we get with a woman with the expectation of actually treating her with love and respect, that we get SURPRISED to find her not appreciating it/us! It's good to have ANOTHER MAN say what you just said. THANK YOU!!!
|
|
|
Post by dolphinfan on Dec 31, 2006 13:01:09 GMT -5
I understand and respect what everyone is saying here. But let's not get it twisted. I am very proud of the fact that I can support myself and my family without help from a man. I will always be proud of that...there are some women who can't say that. I am blessed! I don't have to look for a handout from a man, and I don't have to worry about shit getting cut off or having to go without all the time. I'm not rich, but I am doing well for a single woman with no Bachelor's Degree. Besides, if the fact that I run off at the mouth about not being needy is my worst flaw, then a brother should still be lucky to have me. I can think of some worse characteristics to have. Being proud of my independence does not make me or women like me, bad women. It also doesn't mean that I can't appreciate a good man. Hell, IF I ever meet one, I'll appreciate the hell out of him. Because the truth of the matter is, it does get tiring when I have to be strong ALL the time. I would love to be able to surrender and submit to the right person. But the right person ain't in Virginia. If he is, I haven't met him in the last 35 years. Nobody is picking on you. You brought up a thought provoking subject(again). Being the leader of this PACK, you have to except, that we have diffences of oppinion about the subjects you bring up. Theses differences do not reflect what we think of you, wether you are pro or con about the subject, because we don't know you. We know that in order for some subjects to grow, and of course, your board, you may have to be provocative, to get people to answer. I personaqlly don't have a problem with it. Even if it's from a personal place. Since no one to my knowledge, knows anybody else, on this board I think, you should be able to put fourth feeling about a subject, any subject, that you feel firmly about. i have disagreed with some of your points, i have also marveled at some of your stances on subjects, that bothered you. So if you are feeling something and I or any other member of this board disagrees, so what, as long as we can't effect, your personal life, or in a bad way this board. [glow=blue,2,300][/glow]I feel as a BLAQUE BOARD, we talk about things better then any board, I have ever been on. you feel what you feel and nobody is mad at you for that or FEEL LESS about you as a person. So if you don't care about something, said, about how you feel, (you know as a people we, very seldom, have a chance SPEAK to each other,) let alone talk about subjects that bother us. So be you, and this board will eventually grow so big, that you maybe even be able to make a PROFIT from it(someday). (I MODIFIED THE SECOND TO LAST PARAGRAPH)
|
|
|
Post by Blaque on Dec 31, 2006 16:42:10 GMT -5
Dolphinfan, I don't know where your remarks came from but thanks for explaining the concept of a discussion forum to me.
For the record, I do not expect people to agree with everything I post about. I post because I want to hear different views. And I don't know if you meant to imply that I deliberately post about topics that will get a reaction out of others. If so, that could not be further from the truth...but think what you want.
Also just because I defend my point of view that DOES NOT MEAN that I am upset with what someone else has posted. It's called "an exchange of ideas". It's the reason why I started this board.
But since we are getting personal, I think that you are the one who is overly sensitive.
I don't know if this was your attempt to call me out or what. I don't know what it was about my last comment that provoked your reply. But I'm going to do myself a favor and let this be my last time in this thread.
|
|
|
Post by dolphinfan on Dec 31, 2006 16:46:54 GMT -5
Dolphinfan, I don't know where your remarks came from but thanks for explaining the concept of a discussion forum to me. For the record, I do not expect people to agree with everything I post about. I post because I want to hear different views. And I don't know if you meant to imply that I deliberately post about topics that will get a reaction out of others. If so, that could not be further from the truth...but think what you want. Also just because I defend my point of view that DOES NOT MEAN that I am upset with what someone else has posted. It's called "an exchange of ideas". It's the reason why I started this board. But since we are getting personal, I think that you are the one who is overly sensitive. I don't know if this was your attempt to call me out or what. I don't know what it was about my last comment that provoked your reply. But I'm going to do myself a favor and let this be my last time in this thread. I was in no way calling you out. I read the post and answered. I was only trying to reaffrimed, how you ran the board, I in no way was trying to offend you in your response. As for me being over sensitive to a topic or subject, I disagree. But if it sticks , it sticks. thats how , I am. But again you and anybody else, are free to feel what you want. If you read what was posted, and I believe, I even left the quote on the post. I'm a up front person, who dosen't like to leave anything on the table. As i have said before I never take anything personal, because no one anywhere on the NET, really (rarely )knows the person they are fonting with. But this is the second time, that you thought I was taking something personal, when addressing or trying to address the entire issue as through as possible. If I offended you, I'm really sorry about that. As for me using the post, or any post to attack you, or how you feel about a subject, your wrong, dead wrong!!! when you started out this particular (subject) post, you included your personal feelings, about how people interporate your independence. (In the previous post, that made you feel what you felt, you had to write..about)In the last post You wrote, you wanted understood, that, you were not some wussy. I know your not a wussy. I said that even if i were to disagree with you, I respect what you have to say, because as a people, we don't get to do this a lot. So how you can see me looking at you in some lowly way, hurts. Not being overly senitive, but being real. I feel the way I feel about any given subject, but you better believe, I'm not going waste good energy, to hate somebody, I've never met. I may even disagree with you, but hate you......never!!!! But I will take note, for myself, for future. A lesson learned, and I challenge anybody!!! to read the progression of this post, and say , that i was attacking you. One last thought, when i posted i dated church women and most were crazy as hell, it was real, but you and a couple of ladys called me crazy. I could have been offended. But I understood, your experiences, are gonna be different then mine. So i didn't jump, to conclusions, because your experiences are just as real as mine. And even though it went on for about a week, because it obviously pinch a nerve, the only thing i said was, I'm not overly sensitive. Which has stuck. But if you read that, you read that. I put personal info, about my personal life, on the board, and was called over sensitive. If you notice, i stayed away from it. I think you did the same and some how didn't take to what was said. and I probably, broke the camels back. And you needed to say what you have said. The reason I'm saying this to you, up front, is simply, thats how I' am. I not a sneaky type, who desperse things over different post or go to other boards and talk bad about you or anybody else. I may disagree, but never pick fights, just to fight. Have a safe and Happy New Years.
|
|
|
Post by pelicanguy on Jan 1, 2007 22:16:07 GMT -5
Besides, if the fact that I run off at the mouth about not being needy is my worst flaw, then a brother should still be lucky to have me. I can think of some worse characteristics to have. Anyone who is in a relationship should be lucky to be with that person. That's a given. Let's see how I can put this... There's confidence and there's arrogance. Being confident in who you are and what you are able to do is wonderful...even admirable. Everyone should be confident with him/herself. But when someone starts talking like folks described in this thread - bragging and talking this and that, almost to the point that they're preaching it, that's when the line's been cross. That's pure arrogance. Confidence is attractive. Arrogance isn't. People do remember what you say and how you say it...and it may come back to haunt you.
|
|
|
Post by lusciouslois on Jan 2, 2007 10:03:59 GMT -5
MsB, (even though she may not see this) I too am of the opinion that a genuinely GOOD man is not in this state. Sweetpie, I relish the idea of being with a man and working as "a team." SisterChi, I sorta owe u an apology. I would like to have someone around to help out around the house, financially as well as doing handywork. A lot of women are indeed independant. Some have to be-by chance or by choice. Some married women may "depend" ontheir husband's income to "make it," but if he leaves or dies, she can do it on her own. Some married women CAN'T make it on their own. We also have single women who can't or refuse to even try to make it on their own and actively seek out "suckers" who will support them. There are also single women who use their single status as a way to bait men to get sympathy and $$..
|
|
jazzlover
B.E. Sergeant First Class
It Takes Pressure to Make a Diamond
Posts: 3,912
|
Post by jazzlover on Jan 3, 2007 13:28:07 GMT -5
I am all for women being strong, but I have a problem with women that demean and abuse men, It seems nice guys get abused and thugs and players always get the girl. Then after they have been abused by "Pretty Ricky", they take thier bitterness out on Mr Nice Guy!
|
|
|
Post by lusciouslois on Jan 3, 2007 14:22:55 GMT -5
I am all for women being strong, but I have a problem with women that demean and abuse men, It seems nice guys get abused and thugs and players always get the girl. Then after they have been abused by "Pretty Ricky", they take thier bitterness out on Mr Nice Guy! I hear you But as I have said for years, the ho's,the bimbos, the women who use men get all of the attention, then when (or IF)he gets tired of "Misslottabody" and her mess, he takes it out on Miss Nice Woman if he even looks her way.
|
|