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Post by pelicanguy on Feb 19, 2007 14:14:18 GMT -5
I couldn't help but see this comment you made:
With that said, how on God's green Earth can a man make a woman jealous when it comes to other women? I thought the only one responsible for the jealousy he/she feels is him/herself.
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Post by dolphinfan on Feb 19, 2007 16:09:21 GMT -5
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Post by Blaque on Feb 19, 2007 16:12:35 GMT -5
Brother B. you’re kidding, right?
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Post by pelicanguy on Feb 19, 2007 16:55:05 GMT -5
Do you see me laughing?
Your thread asked about the ladies being jealous of other women and how to keep from doing so.
Sweetpie said her piece, including the quote above.
I just wanna know how is it the man's fault that the woman/women's jealousy gets going.
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Post by Blaque on Feb 19, 2007 22:05:22 GMT -5
Well, I don't want to speak for Sweetpie but let me give you an example from my personal experience.
Like I said, I am not jealous of other women in regards to looks or wanting something that they have. But I was interested in this man, and SUPPOSEDLY he was interested in me. However, he had this incessant need to have numerous female friends. He would talk to them on the phone while we were together. If someone called him while we were spending time together and asked him what he was doing, he would always say "Nothing".
The way HE acted caused me to be jealous. I wanted his undivided attention when we were together. And I wanted to be his best friend so that he didn't need 50 million other women in his life. But he made me feel like I wasn't enough. The way he acted made me question myself.
I later realized that he was a loser and it didn't matter if he was with Halle Berry, he still would have acted the same way.
So yes, SOMETIMES a person can do things that makes someone else jealous.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Feb 19, 2007 22:16:48 GMT -5
Couldn't have said it better myself...
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Post by lusciouslois on Feb 20, 2007 9:51:11 GMT -5
Well, I don't want to speak for Sweetpie but let me give you an example from my personal experience. Like I said, I am not jealous of other women in regards to looks or wanting something that they have. But I was interested in this man, and SUPPOSEDLY he was interested in me. However, he had this incessant need to have numerous female friends. He would talk to them on the phone while we were together. If someone called him while we were spending time together and asked him what he was doing, he would always say "Nothing". The way HE acted caused me to be jealous. I wanted his undivided attention when we were together. And I wanted to be his best friend so that he didn't need 50 million other women in his life. But he made me feel like I wasn't enough. The way he acted made me question myself. I later realized that he was a loser and it didn't matter if he was with Halle Berry, he still would have acted the same way. So yes, SOMETIMES a person can do things that makes someone else jealous. *Hugging MsB tight-are you SURE we didnt date the same losers?* I went through the same things, plus some. We could be out on a date and his phone would ring. It would be one of his babymommas or some other woman and instead of saying, "I am on a date," or, "I'm busy," he would say, "I'M eating," or something of the sort and I would be sitting right there. He would have long drawn out conversations with whomever, that could have waited til the date was over or he was by himself. I would be subjected to hearing praise or drool over any other woman but me. I got to the point to where I couldnt do anything right or felt like it. Nothing I did was ever good enough but when I would bring the shit to his attention, I was called TOO jealous. Like MsB said, he too could have been with Halle Berry or Queen Latifah and he still wouldnt be happy unless the woman worshipped him
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Post by Blaque on Feb 20, 2007 11:16:59 GMT -5
Lois, I truly believe that men who act this way are the ones with self esteem issues. They need attention from multiple women to make them feel good about themselves. The guy I was with told me that my feelings of jealous wasn’t a reflection on him. He didn’t want to take responsibility for his role in how I was feeling. I’m sure the guys on this board will co-sign on that point. But if a man tells you that he cares about you, but then does everything in his power to make you feel unimportant, it makes you question your self-worth. Men can be manipulative that way. I personally think it’s a way of controlling a woman. Mess with our self esteem so that they can feel superior.
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Post by lusciouslois on Feb 20, 2007 12:47:24 GMT -5
Lois, I truly believe that men who act this way are the ones with self esteem issues. They need attention from multiple women to make them feel good about themselves. The guy I was with told me that my feelings of jealous wasn’t a reflection on him. He didn’t want to take responsibility for his role in how I was feeling. I’m sure the guys on this board will co-sign on that point. But if a man tells you that he cares about you, but then does everything in his power to make you feel unimportant, it makes you question your self-worth. Men can be manipulative that way. I personally think it’s a way of controlling a woman. Mess with our self esteem so that they can feel superior. *hugging her again* Yup, somehow, someway, WE will be the ones with the issues and it will be our fault for feeling the way we did with those guys. Never mind that if I complimented another man, he would get j ealous, but it was like HIS word and/or opinion was the end-all and no other opinions would be necessary. If BigL didnt say it, it didnt mean anything. But I keep seeing and hearing that males like that DO have self esteem issues. We could have jumped through 50/11 hoops and they still wouldnt be happy.
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Post by Blaque on Feb 20, 2007 14:31:24 GMT -5
Hugs back at ya Lois! I think Big L and Big T were separated at birth.
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Post by pelicanguy on Feb 20, 2007 21:21:21 GMT -5
ONCE again, yall have twisted my question.
I did not ask how a man can make a woman jealous. I KNOW that answer.
A woman gets jealous of another woman for whatever reason. How is it the man's fault that that happened?
THAT is what I wanna know.
Go back and read Sweetpie's words that I quoted in the original post...or better yet, go back to yall's forum and read her entire post again.
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Post by Blaque on Feb 20, 2007 21:52:32 GMT -5
Here is your exact question: Now you're saying: Brother B, stop hanging out at Mardi Gras and get some rest. You are cornfused.
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sweetpie
B.E. Staff Sergeant
Posts: 2,081
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Post by sweetpie on Feb 21, 2007 7:12:57 GMT -5
Bro B
That IS what I meant.
Let me add a few more words...
I don't think of myself as the jealous type but for one I have not to my knowledge had the experience of dealing with a man that has brought the issue of dealing with another woman to me.
The situations Blaque and Lois brought up IS what I was talking about.
How long would you stay in a relationship with a girlfriend that would constantly bring others males in? You would consider them rivals, but she is saying that it is not so, how long would you tolerate it? Would you be angry or would you be jealous? And how do those two reactions differ in that situation? In my opinion there wouldn't be much of a difference.
This point of view is a lot simpler than you are trying to make it. There are many other situations that can a make a person jealous but in certain situations if you're not careful and you let your perspective get off kilter you can eventually let it happen. A man can make a woman jealous and vice versa and it doesn't necessarily have to be man/woman issues. You can have a rival at anything, job, popularity whatever. Sibling rivalry is a form of jealousy although I am sure you know that.
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Post by lusciouslois on Feb 21, 2007 9:12:24 GMT -5
To MsB and Sweetpie
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