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Post by Blaque on Apr 26, 2006 8:15:29 GMT -5
Dolphinfan - You tell it like it is, don't you.
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Post by Blaque on Apr 27, 2006 21:29:47 GMT -5
Lately things have been so chaotic, but right now everything feels so peaceful. I'm enjoying the quiet time.
"Solitude is painful when one is young, but delightful when one is more mature.”
I didn't always enjoy silence. I had to have music playing and I slept with the television on. But since becoming a mother I try to use these rare moments to reflect. I have come to enjoy the pleasure of my own company and I am content when when I am alone. It's a good feeling. This is the first night in a very long time that I feel that I can go to bed without a hundred and one worries on my mind.
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Post by Blaque on Apr 28, 2006 20:40:44 GMT -5
Finally, he's off to sleep. The hardest thing about taking care of my son is trying to figure out what's wrong when he gets in his moods. He was definately not happy with me but I finally got him off to bed. Over the past five years we have certainly learned how to comminicate with each other but when he is mad...Oh boy! I think he was just extra tired and ready to go to sleep...just like any other child when they are sleepy, he gets irritable but tonight it was to the 10th power.
Anyway, I think that I am going to follow his lead. I am going in to the office tomorrow and try to catch up on some things. So, I think that I will call it a night.
Being defeated is often a temporay condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
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Post by Blaque on May 8, 2006 11:31:37 GMT -5
It's been a while since I've put my feelings down in this space. But I have to today. Writing can be very therapeutic sometimes. I've had a very heavy heart lately. I have spent the entire weekend feeling everything including rage, shame, bitter, betrayed, sad, vindictive...all of the things people shouldn't feel. So I sit and think and think and think, until my brain is exhausted. I'm exhausted. I've let down a lot of people whom I love very much. And I've intentionally hurt a lot of people who didn't deserve it. Saying that I'm sorry really means nothing. It's just words... All I can do is try to manage my emotions in a better way. Maybe I'll go back to the gym. Wow, the weight I could have lost this weekend if I had been on a treadmill instead of at my computer. Anyway, there is a quote that reads: "Don't let yesterday use up too much of today."
Today is a new day. It's time to start over.
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Post by dolphinfan on May 8, 2006 21:12:29 GMT -5
Very revealing.
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Post by Blaque on May 9, 2006 17:57:20 GMT -5
Today has been a long day. I'm still trying to rap things up at work so I can go home and start my second and most rewarding job...Mother. After you’ve been out fighting for everything you have, you just want to come home and feel appreciated and feel loved and know when you get home, you don’t have to fight anymore. Everything I ever wanted is at home waiting for me. My son is my hero. No matter how bad my day is, looking at his face always make everything better. He makes it all good! I can't wait to get home and get some much needed love.
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Post by Blaque on May 12, 2006 9:41:39 GMT -5
Charges dropped against Suffolk woman
All charges have been dropped against a Suffolk woman who shot herself in the stomach, killing her unborn child. Tammy Skinner appeared in court Monday morning for a preliminary hearing. The judge dismissed the case. Skinner had been charged with illegally inducing an abortion. The 22-year-old admitted to WAVY News 10 that she shot herself in the stomach to end her pregnancy in February. ------------------------------------------------------------
Unbelievable! This is just unbelievable! How does a woman take the life of her unborn child and then walk away without any repercussions? It’s just like these women who take drugs during their pregnancy and give birth to crack addicted babies. Nothing is ever done. There has to be an enforceable law in these situations. It just angers me because there are too many ways to prevent pregnancies. This woman who shot herself in the stomach knew that she had issues. If she was smart enough to concoct a story about being shot by an unknown assailant, then she had enough brain power to pop a pill every day so she wouldn’t get pregnant in the first place. I don’t have a lot of sympathy for women like this. I don’t care what the situation is. Being blessed with a child is the most amazing gift that a woman can be given. Even with the challenges that I face with my own son, I feel extremely lucky and blessed to have him. I love being his mother despite having to deal with his disability. This woman who shot herself should be in jail today. It just doesn’t seem fair.
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Post by dolphinfan on May 12, 2006 17:58:56 GMT -5
Charges dropped against Suffolk woman All charges have been dropped against a Suffolk woman who shot herself in the stomach, killing her unborn child. Tammy Skinner appeared in court Monday morning for a preliminary hearing. The judge dismissed the case. Skinner had been charged with illegally inducing an abortion. The 22-year-old admitted to WAVY News 10 that she shot herself in the stomach to end her pregnancy in February. ------------------------------------------------------------ Unbelievable! This is just unbelievable! How does a woman take the life of her unborn child and then walk away without any repercussions? It’s just like these women who take drugs during their pregnancy and give birth to crack addicted babies. Nothing is ever done. There has to be an enforceable law in these situations. It just angers me because there are too many ways to prevent pregnancies. This woman who shot herself in the stomach knew that she had issues. If she was smart enough to concoct a story about being shot by an unknown assailant, then she had enough brain power to pop a pill every day so she wouldn’t get pregnant in the first place. I don’t have a lot of sympathy for women like this. I don’t care what the situation is. Being blessed with a child is the most amazing gift that a woman can be given. Even with the challenges that I face with my own son, I feel extremely lucky and blessed to have him. I love being his mother despite having to deal with his disability. This woman who shot herself should be in jail today. It just doesn’t seem fair. You have to admitt, thats one hell of a way to have an abortion. Something else is wrong with this women!!!. She could've done this, a whole lot of ways other then shooting herself. She has mental problems, thats why they let her off, hopefully, she must seek help too!!!!!
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Post by Blaque on May 14, 2006 6:53:53 GMT -5
Most Gracious Heavenly Father, We thank You for our mothers to whom You have entrusted the care of every precious human life from its very beginning in the womb. You have given to woman the capacity of participating with You in the creation of new life. Grant that every woman may come to understand the full meaning of that blessing, which gives her an unlimited capacity for selfless love for every child she may be privileged to bear, and for all Your children. Watch over every mother who is with child, strengthen her faith in Your fatherly care and love for her and for her unborn baby. Give her courage in times of fear or pain, understanding in times of uncertainty and doubt, and hope in times of trouble. Grant her joy in the birth of her child. To mothers You have given the great privilege and responsibility of being a child's first teacher and spiritual guide. Grant that all mothers may worthily foster the faith of their children, following the example of Mary, Elizabeth, and other holy women who follow Christ. Help mothers to grow daily in knowledge and understanding of Your Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, and grant them the wisdom to impart this knowledge faithfully to their children, and to all who depend upon them. Assist all "spiritual mothers", those who, though they may have no children of their own, nevertheless selflessly care for the children of others -- of every age and state in life. Grant that they may know the joy of fulfilling this motherly calling of women, whether in teaching, nursing, religious life, or in other work which recognizes and fosters the true dignity of every human being created in Your image and likeness. We beseech You to send Your Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to all mothers who sorrow for children that have died, are ill or estranged from their families, or who are in trouble or danger of any kind. Help grieving mothers to rely on Your tender mercy and fatherly love for all your children. We ask your blessing on all those to whom You have entrusted motherhood. May Your Holy Spirit constantly inspire and strengthen them. May they ever follow the example of Mary, mother of Our Lord, and imitate her fidelity, her humility, and her self-giving love. May all mothers receive Your Grace abundantly in this earthly life, and may they look forward to eternal joy in Your presence in the life to come. We ask this through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, world without end. AMEN. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed are those who are able to spend today with their mother and for those mothers who can spend it with their children.. Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that provokes mixed emotions. I think about my aunt who lost her only son to suicide 5 years ago. I think about my co-worker who lost baby after only 17 days. What do you call a woman who has lost the only child that she had? I pray for all of the men and women who are spending their first Mother’s Day without their mother. I pray for all who are still grieving the loss of their mother regardless of how many years it’s been. I think about my own situation. I am blessed because my mother is still with me and because I am a mother. However I will never be able to hear my son say “Happy Mother’s Day Mom” nor will I ever receive a hand-made mother’s day present or card from my son But we laid on bed and played this morning. His laugh and the way he looks at me are all the present that I need. People don’t realize how blessed they are if they are fortunate enough to still have their mother. Everyone who is able should pick up the phone an extend an “I love you” to the person who gave them life. God bless.
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Post by Blaque on May 15, 2006 16:34:53 GMT -5
"What's a Player?" by kwell You may as well ask for the definitions of "Pimp" & "Mack" while your at it...
IME- A "player" seduces women with charm, ladies invariably feel good/happy in his presence. He diciplines women with his absence(s) and withdrawal of attention. He checks their tests and outbursts of drama before they gain strength with the (non-verbal)threat of moving on. If the woman is "good" to Daddy, then she is rewarded with his presence and affections.
ONCE A PLAYER ALWAYS A PLAYER...
If a player has one lady in his rotation or twenty, it doesn't affect his status. Even if for some reason he settles down with 1 or 2 women to live as man and wife(s) he will remain a player.
A player doesn't approach women with a finacial goal in mind. A player fills his life with women because he loves women, and never tires of them physically or socially.
Macks are players with financial needs of the women they invite into their circles. Biggest difference: a true mack will drop a very (physically & personally) attractive female if she is unable to do anything for his pockets, and keep a less attractive woman in rotation if her pockets are right.
Pimps are all about the $$$. They seduce with dreams and insecurity.
Where a player communicates the main theme: I like who/what you ARE, I think you ARE very attractive & interesting! Lets enjoy ourselves.
A pimp communicates the theme: You've got great potential. I like what you CAN be with my help. If I show you the way, you WILL be very interesting, and together we WILL be successful -providing you are willing to work, sacrifice and do the hard things success demands...
Pimps dicipline with emotional\ mental manipulation to keep a hoe's self esteem low. With the goal of becoming like air or water to the hoe, where the hoe is unable to contemplate the possibility of survival without him.
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Ok, this is one of those things that you read and can’t decide if it’s entertaining or idiotic. On the one hand it’s entertaining because as the writer describes a player, I have a very vivid image of someone I know in my head. Idiotic because I can’t believe that someone actually took the time to break this down so meticulously. For me what this all boils down to is self-respect. If people had more respect for themselves they would never try to run these types of mind games on people, nor would they allow themselves to be played in such a way.
Not respecting yourself, is the same as committing suicide at a slow rate.
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Post by Blaque on Jun 2, 2006 13:12:23 GMT -5
There is a quote in a book that I read once that reads: "truly happy women drive some men and almost every other woman absolutely crazy." I find that to be very true. We cannot decide if we love or hate someone who is happy. Some people are drawn to them, some people resent them and some just cling to them hoping that happiness really is contagious. There is nothing I hate more than the Mary Poppins type when I am having a bad day. Personally, I think that people who walk around happy ALL the time are fake. On everyone's life, a little rain must fall. It's ok to admit that you are having a bad day. It's ok to admit that someone has angered you. I feel horrible admitting it but there is a calm satisfaction in knowing that other people are struggling just as much as I am sometimes. We all struggle at times and that is ok. Now, I am not advocating a permanent state of depression either. That's the opposite end of the spectrum. People who are always down in the dumps, always complain, and are forever the victim...that's another post.
People should allow themselves to feel whatever it is that they are feeling. You don't have to put up a front for the rest of the world as though everything is coming up roses when it's actually not. I believe that happiness is a choice, and that positive thoughts bring forth positive results, but at the same time, when it's not genuine people can see right through it.
Be real!
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Post by lusciouslois on Jun 2, 2006 15:36:55 GMT -5
Sis, I love this! I keep things too real sometimes for some people and I probably come across as harsh/cold/unfeeling, etc. but that is how I have become over the years. Now I can be the most loving person but I can be a "cruel taskmaster" too.
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Post by Blaque on Jun 4, 2006 16:52:31 GMT -5
Today was my son's 6th birthday. Birthdays and holidays are always bitter sweat. It was just he and I today. All of his cousins live out of state, but I bought a cake, that I'll have to eat it. He did enjoy the ice cream and balloons. I try to imagine what it would be like to see him ripping open his presents and blowing out candles. But we made the best of it today. We went to the park and I sat in a swing, put him my lap, and we swung for about an hour. Then I put him back in his wheelchair and I walked through the park. It has an ocean view and it was such a nice day. I think next year he and I will go on vacation for his birthday. Maybe to the beach, just the two of us. Even though it gets hard sometimes, he is my little ray of light. I love him so much.
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Post by dolphinfan on Jun 4, 2006 21:50:54 GMT -5
Today was my son's 6th birthday. Birthdays and holidays are always bitter sweat. It was just he and I today. All of his cousins live out of state, but I bought a cake, that I'll have to eat it. He did enjoy the ice cream and balloons. I try to imagine what it would be like to see him ripping open his presents and blowing out candles. But we made the best of it today. We went to the park and I sat in a swing, put him my lap, and we swung for about an hour. Then I put him back in his wheelchair and I walked through the park. It has an ocean view and it was such a nice day. I think next year he and I will go on vacation for his birthday. Maybe to the beach, just the two of us. Even though it gets hard sometimes, he is my little ray of light. I love him so much. You keep this real!!!!!!
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Post by lusciouslois on Jun 5, 2006 8:38:40 GMT -5
Today was my son's 6th birthday. Birthdays and holidays are always bitter sweat. It was just he and I today. All of his cousins live out of state, but I bought a cake, that I'll have to eat it. He did enjoy the ice cream and balloons. I try to imagine what it would be like to see him ripping open his presents and blowing out candles. But we made the best of it today. We went to the park and I sat in a swing, put him my lap, and we swung for about an hour. Then I put him back in his wheelchair and I walked through the park. It has an ocean view and it was such a nice day. I think next year he and I will go on vacation for his birthday. Maybe to the beach, just the two of us. Even though it gets hard sometimes, he is my little ray of light. I love him so much. awwwwwww ;D
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